Signed, Sealed, Delivered
by PhunkyBrewster
Summary: Sometimes all they have have are their words. The story of Mindy and Danny told through letters, notes, e-mails, and texts. A PhunkyBrewster and HelenVanPattersonPatton collaboration. Multi-Chapter.
1. War Propaganda

**Note: This story is co-written by PhunkyBrewster and HelenVanPattersonPatton. Neither writer owns any of the characters associated with The Mindy Project.**

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 9:42 am

This is just a stern, yet friendly reminder that the way we cultivate our work environment is crucial to our operation (pun!) here. It's important that we establish a professional, friendly environment for ourselves, as it not only affects us, but our patients. Let's work together to achieve this. Mainly, let's do away with the yelling matches in the receptionist's area, as they are wholly unprofessional and a receptionist almost on the verge of tears does little to comfort some of our more hormonal, already emotional patients.

Marc Shulman, M.D.

Dr. Marc Shulman, OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street  
Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
P: (212) 530-0639  
F: (212) 530-7607

_**"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."** - **Theodore "Seuss" Geisel**_

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 9:58 am

Dr. Shulman, I agree with you 100%! A friendly, embracing work environment is so important and we should all do our part to contribute to its make-up. I, for instance, come everyday with at least five light, all-inclusive conversational topics ready to go at any moment (I have since learned not to bring up anything to controversial, like Afghanistan or Taylor Swift's love life. I take full responsibility for last week, by the way). I think this, paired with my adorably infectious personality, really provide an atmosphere that is not only welcoming, but has earned me three bridesmaid offers from patients in the past year alone.

You know what _doesn't_ contribute to this awesome environment? Surly, ill-researched rants about the Kardashians or my sweaters which are FESTIVE and most certainly not "loud beyond reason and age-appropriateness," whatever that means. More importantly, I think that certain individuals need to take a long, hard look at how they choose to represent themselves (and by extension, the practice) before they go publicly criticizing anybody else's daringly stylish wardrobe.

Anyways, just something to think about!

Mindy Lahiri, M.D.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, _Who Run The World (Girls)_**

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 10:32 am

I cannot agree enough with the assertion that a professional work environment is key for happy and healthy patients. They should clearly by our top priority! This bears directly on the altercation you mentioned, Dr. Shulman. I do not feel that it is unreasonable for us to have an expectation of professionalism. But I won't point fingers.

In regards to making Betsy cry: I take full responsibility for this and will apologize accordingly. It does seem worth positing that if Betsy, or any of our other employees, were not tasked with handling other's personal needs, such as balancing a checkbook that hasn't been correct in years while also being forced to find sold-out concert tickets to see a mediocre pop star then perhaps they wouldn't be on edge and easily brought to tears. Food for thought.

Regards,  
Dr. Daniel Castellano

P.S. I reattached the guidelines for the dress-code I suggested we implement. A consistent and mature front to our business seems like a no-brainer.

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 10:47 am

Okay, I feel the need to make a few points here:

1. Referring to Lady Gaga as anything less than iconic is not only an affront to her, but to all modern music aficionados like myself. Maybe we should save terms like "mediocre" for the truly mediocre, like Creedence Clearwater Revival and Regina Spektor?

2. While I can't speak for anyone else, I can assure you that any task that I bring to Betsy comes with a smile, a "please" and the appropriate "thank you" and is never, as my colleague falsely observed, "forced." In the interest of creating a friendlier work space for everyone, as Dr. Shulman so brilliantly suggested, we should all take a moment to implement simple manners when requesting anything of our staff, rather than bark commands from our office door, like "BETSY, CALL THOSE IDIOTS AT DR. DECKLYNN'S OFFICE AND TELL THEM THAT THEY SENT THE WRONG DAMN FILE! NOW!" Furthermore, when did dictating angry letters to the Starbucks corporate office stop falling under the "personal needs" category? And Betsy, I just wanted to say that you're doing an amazing job. You've earned every cent of that $20 Red Lobster gift card we gave you for Secretary's Day.

3. I think the dress code we have now is just fine. Perhaps a consistent (read: twenty different versions of the same dark blue shirt) and mature (read: curmudgeonly) approach isn't quite as obvious to everyone.

Just putting that out there.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, _Who Run The World (Girls)_**

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re:** RE: RE: RE: RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 10:52 am

Regina Spektor is a national treasure. Not that I expect you to appreciate that with your clearly sub-par ear for music, but I would think you of all people would be more supportive of other immigrants. And at least she can play an instrument.

Mollycoddling the staff to get them to do your bidding is not what we pay them for. As one of the (senior) partners here I don't feel like it's necessary to throw a party every time someone actually does there job. They receive thanks enough in the form of a paycheck at the end of every week. I won't go into my feelings again on giving gifts for "Secretary's Day", but you do work very hard most of the time, Betsy.

My personal style is just fine, thank you. I get compliments on my causal, yet **professional**, attire all the time. If this is something you feel so strongly about perhaps a career more suited to your interests is something for you to look into. Such as working with blind children or going to clown college. Just putting _that_ out there.

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 10:58 am

WOW, okay, there's A LOT that I could address here between the racism and this cloud of delusion you've created for yourself regarding your "personal style" (using the term very loosely here) and your awful taste in music, but I can't focus on any of that when Danny Castellano, doctor and self-proclaimed genius, STILL CANNOT GRASP THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "THERE" AND "THEIR." Oh, my God, Danny, HOW are you still having trouble with this when we argued for almost thirty minutes about this very thing last week after the whole "your welcome" debacle?! I am an attractive, successful doctor; I do not have the time to play Madonna in _A League of _**_Their _**_Own, _teaching the illiterate.

And don't bother pretending that you don't understand that reference because I heard you trying (key word) to bang out the first few notes of "This Used to Be My Playground" on your keyboard.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212-966-7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, _Who Run The World (Girls)_**

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE**: Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 11:05 am

Are you seriously nit picking my very obvious typo? This from the woman who thinks Benjamin Franklin was our 3rd President. (Also, for the record, **_there_** most definitely was a President Garfield, and for the last time he is in no way associated with a cartoon cat.) I know how to spell, thank you. You are well aware that I have been published in two different medical journals.

I would like to caution the willy-nilly throwing around of the term racism. This over-sensitive and vocal stance does nothing but open this practice up to frivolous lawsuits. Is that what you want?

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:** Our Work Environment  
Aug 6 2012 11:09 am

ATTN: ALL STAFF

I would like everyone to refer to the below trail of correspondence as a prime example of a **hostile work environment**. This is **precisely **the type of unacceptable behavior we are trying to move away from. Let's use the below example as a direct guideline of how **not** to associate with each other.

Danny and Mindy, please see me in my office immediately after lunch.

Marc Shulman, M.D.

Dr. Marc Shulman, OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street  
Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
P: (212) 530-0639  
F: (212) 530-7607

_**"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Theodore "Seuss" Geisel**_

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
Cc:  
Bcc:  
Re: Clearing the air  
Aug 6, 2012 3:01 pm

After a very constructive meeting with Dr. Shulman, I think we can all agree to put this petty bickering to rest. Many harmless statements (clearly meant humorously) were taken out of context and escalated into a big deal. Lesson learned. Some people can't take a joke. Regardless, this is water under the bridge.

We are all a team here at Shulman & Associates and it is necessary to work well together! Now that the air is cleared we can all get back to what should have been the priority all along: our patients.

Sincerely,  
Dr. Daniel Castellano

* * *

To: **All Employees**  
Cc:  
Bcc:  
Re: **RE:** Clearing the air  
Aug 6, 2012 3:09 pm

Daniel, let me be the first to say how inspirational and, above all, professional that was. I agree: our patients are our priority and working as a cohesive unit will help us all keep that in perspective. Furthermore, I think that each and every one of us brings something unique and essential to the table: Betsy's enthusiasm, Shauna's lovable sass, Beverly's street know-how, Jeremy's classic charm, my _impeccable _sense of humor, and Daniel's old school work ethic are all part of the fabric of Shulman & Associates, and we should do our best to highlight and encourage these contributions of ours.

While I felt that it was apparent to most that I responded with the sole intention of being constructive, it is clear that the notion didn't come across to everyone. I am so grateful that Dr. Shulman allowed us some time to clear up any miscommunication that took place today. As my good friend and colleague said, "Water under the bridge."

Lots of love,  
Mindy Lahiri, M.D.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, _Who Run The World (Girls)_**


	2. All These Meaningful Nothings

**(Card attached from florist)**

Danny,

I wanted to gift you this orchid as a token of my gratitude. Thank you so much for your assistance with Mrs. Maslaney's file. I know it was difficult and monopolized a lot of your time. I'm still not entirely sure that your goal isn't to take over all of my patients and slowly phase me out of the medical community…but it was really generous of you to agree to help with little (for you) complaint. Despite our differences, I do respect your opinion.

I had the florist include detailed instructions on proper orchid care for your convenience. It's _so_ pretty, Danny, so please try not to let it die.

Regards,  
Mindy

**(Post-It left on Mindy's desk)**

Thanks for the flower.  
You're not a horrible doctor to work with.  
And I am trying to poach your patients.  
But only the ones with the best insurance.

- D

I'll try not to kill it.

_**(1/4)What the hell, Danny? 1) A Post-It?!  
You could have at least texted...and I know  
you have my number, you totally butt-dialed  
me last week during lunch. BTW, that deli  
is going to effing kill you one day. 2) A **_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 3, 12:22 p.m. **_

_**(2/4)flower is what you pick off of the side  
of the road, like a poor person. I gave you a double  
stem Kaleidoscope orchid, which is a favorite of  
Robert De Niro's wife and super expensive.  
3)Once again, one of your half-assed compliments was**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 3, 12:22 p.m. **_

_**(3/4)overshadowed by your weird obsession with  
me and my career. You would make the worst villain ever,  
spilling all the details of your evil plan like that. 4) Stealing  
my patients back would be a breeze. I'd just be like "Hi!  
I smile sometimes and won't rant endlessly about the **_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 3, 12:22 p.m. **_

_**(4/4) confusing nature of iPads" and they'll flock back.  
And seriously, the instructions seem easy enough to follow,  
so...it's sooo pretty and kinda masculine. Don't let it die,  
Danny. Just, like, make a real effort.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 3, 12:22 p.m.**_

**What is (4/4)confusing supposed to mean? I won't let  
it die. I'm in the business of keeping things alive. **

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
Oct 3, 12:34 p.m.**

_**OMG, Danny.  
**__**Scroll up and read the whole thing. Why  
**__**must I explain this to you?**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 3, 12:37 p.m**_

**Oh. You wouldn't have to explain if you didn't text a book.  
****And you know my deli went out of business last week.  
****Maybe don't bring it up every day.  
****All I would have to do to keep your patients is remind them  
****I'm the superior doctor. Who the hell cares about iPads?**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 3, 12:39 p.m.**

_**Uh, you should care about them since that's pretty much  
**__**all we're going to be using in a matter of, like, two years.  
**__**OK I'm sending you a link to this Buzzfeed article, "32  
**__**Ways the iPad Will Eventually Replace Everything,  
**__**Including Your Loved Ones." Then you'll get it.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 3, 12:44 p.m.**_

**Thanks for the link. I'm not sure I agree with it, but it  
was an interesting article. What kind of site is that? Is  
it real news? Because it looks like just a bunch of weird  
lists. And no machine will replace a human. That's  
stupid. Even for the internet.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 3, 1:03 p.m.**

* * *

_**Danny, telling me that costume "stinks" does nothing  
**__**to help me! Can you at least offer me a better  
**__**suggestion? I'm supposed to go to this sick party with  
**__**Josh TONIGHT. I have to look hot! HELP! SOS!**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 1:23 p.m.**_

**This is a holiday for children so I'm not sure why you care.  
****But if you don't want to look stupid then find a better costume.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 1:25 p.m.**

**Go as a slutty nurse or something if you want to look hot.  
****Hell. Go as a slutty anything.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 1:25 p.m.**

_**There's going to be a million slutty nurses at this thing.  
**__**And you can't tell me to go as a slutty "anything" when  
**__**you just crapped on my slutty mail woman idea. I tried  
**__**to go as a slutty crayon, by Morgan misunderstood  
**__**"cleavage hole" as "breast holes." I'll let you fill in the rest.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 1:29 p.m.**_

_**And I don't really care about the stupid holiday itself. I care  
because I really want to impress Josh. He's got a phone full  
of "Caitlins" he could choose from. I just don't want to look  
like an idiot. **_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 1:30 p.m.**_

_**Wait! Sexy Bill O'Reilly? Is that something? **_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 1:31 p.m.**_

**"Breast holes"? I don't think *I* would be the one  
filling in the rest...**

**To: Mindy Lahiri**  
**Oct 31, 1:31 p.m.**

**This Josh guy sounds like a prick. But he did choose to take  
you so I wouldn't worry about any Caitlins.****  
No. Sexy Bill O'Reilly is in no way ever a thing. Why would  
you even think that?****If you're feeling political hows about  
sexy Rachel Maddow?  
**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 1:33 p.m.**

_**Okay, if I wasn't in crisis mode I would outline  
**__**just what makes you a pig in GREAT detail,  
**__**starting with your implication of me filling in  
**__**ANYTHING.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 2:19 p.m.**_

_**And Josh isn't a prick...not entirely, at least.  
**__**He's not more of a prick than anyone else, I guess.  
**__**And while Rachel Maddow is pretty sexy already, I feel  
**__**with the wig I'd end up looking more like you.  
**__**Danny Castellano in fishnets, basically. Picture it. :)**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 2:21 p.m.**_

**God. Okay. Don't ruin Maddow for me.  
****You're right. You could never pull off that look.  
****I pictured it. And personally I think I've got the legs  
****for fishnets.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 2:46 p.m.**

_**(1/2)You should know that I'm saving your last text  
**__**forever and always. Danny Castellano thinks  
**__**he's "got the legs for fishnets." I didn't ask for  
**__**blackmail material, but I'm so grateful to get  
**__**it. :-D Also, I've decided to go the funny route. Let**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 2:49 p.m.**_

_**(2/2) the other girls squeeze into body suits and  
**__**Spanx. I'm going to be cute AND smart, just  
**__**like in everyday life. Thanks for the help, Legs.  
**__**:-P**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 2:49 p.m.**_

**Sorry. I was with my notary *public.  
****You're welcome for the blackmail material.  
****Though I don't know how that's going to work.  
****Anyone with eyes can see it's the truth.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 5:03 p.m.**

**So what'd you pick?  
****Smart and funny?**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 9:14 p.m.**

_**Oh yeah! I meant to text you! Check me out!  
**__**Can you guess who I am? I can send you  
**__**the theme song if you need a hint. :) Don't  
**__**make fun of my messy room!**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 9:16 p.m.**_

**Hillary Clinton?**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 9:17 p.m.**

**Wait. Theme song? Murphy Brown.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 9:17 p.m.**

_**...Goddamn you, Danny.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 9:18 p.m.**_

_**I'm motherfucking Diane Chambers! From Cheers?  
**__**I totally nailed the collegiate chic with the  
**__**undercurrent of sexiness! Anyone else would have  
**__**gotten it instantly.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 9:19 p.m.**_

**(1/2)Collegiate chic with an undercurrent of sexiness?  
****You're describing Murphy Brown. Are you unclear  
****who you're dressed as? Because I got that mass text  
****you just sent to everybody and your date is obviously  
****going as that painter/repair guy. Who's it? Elton? This**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 9:31 p.m.**

**(2/2) is a weird thing to lie about, Mindy. Even for you.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Oct 31, 9:31 p.m.**

_**You're the worst. We look amazing and everyone agrees.  
**__**Next Halloween I get to pick out your costume. I'll give you  
**__**some hints: make sure those legs are fishnet-ready and learn  
**__**the Time Warp.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Oct 31, 9:38 p.m.**_

* * *

To: Daniel Castellano  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Mindy Lahiri Sent You a Special Election Day eCard by JibJab!  
Nov 6, 2012 10:06 a.m.

_DANNY!_

_Don't bother lecturing me on how you need no reminding of your patriotic duties, I just had to send you this HILARIOUS card! Look at you dancing while Obama plays the bass! And if Romney actually knew how to play the drums and rap like that, he'd have this election in the bag, hands down. Also, Gwen is hosting this big Thanksgiving dinner with a ton of people. Please come! I adore her family, but I have no desire to endure them by myself. Bring those sweet dance moves (just in case we've got to liven things up...because they are hella boring. But the food will be pretty great)! -Mindy_

Click **here** to view your card.

Happy Election Day,  
Your Friends at JibJab, Inc.

**PRIVACY  
**JibJab, Inc. honors your privacy. Click **here** for our Privacy Policy

**TERMS OF USE  
**By accessing your card you **agree** that we have no liability. If you do not know the sender or do not wish to view your card, please disregard this e-mail.

* * *

**(Post-It left on Mindy's desk)**

Whatever website that was made my computer crash when I clicked the link.  
You should be more careful. I did get your message. Thanks for the invite.  
I've already got plans for Thanksgiving. Hope you don't get too bored.

**(Post-It #2 left on Mindy desk later that day)**

I sent a strongly worded email to those JibJab people  
after I got my laptop working again. Let me know if it  
messed up your computer and I'll send another one.


	3. Resolute

**Note: This story is co-written by PhunkyBrewster and HelenVanPattersonPatton. Neither writers owns any of the characters associated with The Mindy Project.**

* * *

**("Wishing you all the best this holiday season.")**

Mindy,

Merry Christmas, belated. And happy new year.

Hope 2013 will be great year for you.

Best regards,

Danny

* * *

(**"We hope that your new year is one of love, prosperity, and new beginnings. Resolve to put your reproductive health first: schedule your annual wellness exam today! All the best, Shulman & Associates**)

Danny!

I never would have expected a Christmas card from you! I never would have expected any card from you, honestly! Please accept this obviously last moment, yet equally heartfelt token of my gratitude. Also, we should petition for better holiday cards. There's something very unsettling about getting a card from your OB with a snow-dusted blooming flower on the front.

I haven't settled on a killer resolution yet, but something that I know I want to strive for is letting the people around me know how much I appreciate them. I never thanked you for staying with me the night of the Christmas party, even with all the drama. I know I ruined your date and I'm still really sorry about that. If it's meant to be, then she'll come back, right? That makes me feel a little less awful about it. Anyways...it was really sweet of you. Thanks for saving me from myself and all that jazz.

I hope your new year is incredible.

Sincerely,

Mindy

* * *

**(Note on folded copier paper left on Mindy's desk)**

The vending machine in the lounge is still broken. I got these Twizzlers by mistake. You can have them. I'd rather eat a Robitussin flavored shoe.

Next year Jeremy cannot be allowed to be in charge of ordering the cards. I don't care what he says, that snow-covered flower is clearly sexual in nature. Why would he think that is okay for Christmastime?

Thanks for saying that. Gratitude is a good resolution. I hadn't really thought about resolutions yet. The important things I usually leave for Lent, but that's more for abstaining. I should think about it and come up with something to improve.

You're welcome for helping out at the party. Someone needed to be looking out for you. Don't feel bad about the date. I didn't really like her that much anyway. Kind of a drama queen.

* * *

To: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: (No Subject)  
Jan 3, 2013 2:28 p.m.

You know, for someone who claims to detest drama, your preference for a "Robitussin flavored shoe" over decent candy seems pretty dramatic to me. Irregardless, thanks for the Twizzlers. I didn't get to have lunch today, so they made for a worthy substitute.

I know you're having some trouble coming up with a resolution, so I'm sending you a link to this article about the most prevalent resolutions of the city. Most of these wouldn't apply to you, but you may want to pay special attention to the one's regarding sports. Maybe consider not being so heavily invested in our sports teams? It stresses you out, makes you super cranky, and brings out that weird vein near your temple, which you always say you hate. When you're not consumed with Yankees stats, you're actually kind of fun to be around! Plus, you'll get into fewer altercations over your weekends. That's something positive, right?

Mull it over, keep me posted. Let me be your Resolution Spirit Guide.

Mindy

P.S. - I wasn't really judging your reaction to the Twizzlers. In fact, I happen to think a little drama in your life wouldn't be all that bad (except for the boring sports-related kind).

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, **_**Who Run The World (Girls)**_

* * *

To: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:**(No Subject)  
Jan 3, 2013 2:39 p.m.

So I'm passionate about sports. You're telling me that if someone said something about one of your stupid Housewife shows or pop stars you wouldn't be the tiniest bit peeved? And that guy started it. If he hadn't taken that lady's seat on the subway I would never have said what I did about his cap. You were there, you saw what really happened. I don't care what the Transit Authority said, that crack about Jeter's ankle was totally uncalled for.

You have the strangest hobbies. Sure. You can be my Resolution Spirit Guide, I guess. Although I feel like I'm just opening myself up to ridicule here. And I get final say. I refuse to allow you to talk me into resolving something stupid. Like doing one thing a day that scares me. What kind of idiot masochist vows to do that? You really shouldn't eat candy for lunch. You're smarter than that.

I'll take your word on me needing more drama in my life. You'd know.

* * *

To: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE:** (No Subject)  
Jan 3, 2013 2:51 p.m.

Danny, I want you to review your latest response, specifically your unintelligible mini-tantrum about baseball caps and ankles and ask yourself, "Was that reaction necessary? Will this have any effect on a person who does not give the slightest crap about baseball? How's that crazy little vein of mine?" Review, reflect, reassess. So sayeth your Resolution Spirit Guide.

Let's mark 2013 the year that Mindy Lahiri and Danny Castellano actually agree on something! No, I would never encourage you to do something as stupid as actively pursuing things that genuinely scare you. We're adults; obviously we have enough understanding and intelligence to determine whether or not something is justifiably scary. Bungee jumping and taking the D train by myself at night are both terrifying to me and you know what? I'm fine with that forever being the case. My life won't suddenly become more enriched by me doing either of those things.

That could be a resolution: taking ownership of the stuff that scares us. Finding the courage to say "You know what? I admit that this scares me, so suck it." :-)

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, **_**Who Run The World (Girls)**_

* * *

To: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: ****RE: **(No Subject)  
Jan 3, 2013 3:58 p.m.

We do agree on something! Someone gets mugged on the D train at least one night a week. Why take the risk? Plus, I heard that guy with the coats and bags full of shaving cream cans still sleeps on there.

I think your memory of what really happened with that altercation is a little hazy and a bit of an overreaction. I was trying to be chivalrous. But it's noted. Maybe in the future when trying to reason with someone I shouldn't lead with, "I should have known you'd be a dick because of your shitty taste in baseball teams." Live and learn.

So you're up to three resolutions: 1. Show more gratitude. 2. Admit what scares you. 3. Stop eating candy for lunch. (I added that one for you.) Other than not being, in your words, _so consumed with sports_, what else do I have on my list?

* * *

To: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE: RE:** (No Subject)  
Jan 4, 2013 8:52 a.m.

Look at you, already learning better conflict resolution! See, we're already on our way to becoming better people! I'd pat you on the back, but between me getting beeped yesterday and you apparently having to rush to surgery this morning, it'll have to wait until I actually see you next. And don't do that flinchy-shrug thing you do whenever I do try to pat you on the back. That hurts my feelings.

I feel like you could stand to be a little less judgmental of my dietary choices, even if you are technically right. What we eat when we're in a time of desperation is not a reflection of who we are. - That is an INCREDIBLE quote. Seriously, can I at least get some credit for that nugget of wisdom? In return, I'll try to adopt better eating habits.

To review, Danny's list includes: 1)Less intensity about sports, 2)More acceptance of my friendly displays of comradery, and 3) Less judgment of my (admittedly bad) eating habits.

I would suggest making an attempt to be less cocky...but we both know that's not happening any time soon. And that's not a ridicule, I swear. Despite what you think, you don't have a whole heck of a lot to change, Castellano.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, **_**Who Run The World (Girls)**_

* * *

To: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: RE: ****RE: **(No Subject)  
Jan 4, 2013 1:47 p.m.

I guess that was a wise thing you said? Maybe a little irresponsible an idea. But if I'm going to be successful at number three on your list then I probably shouldn't say any more.

It's not cocky - it's confidant. There is a difference. Saying I'm cocky makes me sound like an asshole. And you don't think I'm an asshole or you wouldn't have said that about not needing to change. I'll ignore you adding "a whole lot" to it.

You surprised me. Stop sneaking up on me and I'll stop flinching.

* * *

**("My heart only beats in "One Direction": towards you.**

**Happy Valentine's Day, Girl.")**

To:Danny

From: Mindy

**I think the card you left on my desk was intended for a girl.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Feb 14, 7:43 pm**

**Heading to your place now.  
****I wouldn't want to be late for this weird double date.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Feb 14, 7:44 pm**

_**I doubt this date will be weirder than finding you  
**__**in a hungover, pantsless heap on your office floor,  
**__**so relax. See you soon.**_

_**To: Daniel Castellano  
**__**Feb 14, 7:46 pm**_

* * *

To: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Important developments in resolution management  
Feb 15, 2013 11:24 a.m.

Here's a link to an article I just read, "10 Reasons People Don't Keep Their New Year's Resolutions." I found it to be interesting, insightful, a little empowering in spots, and an excellent read during my mid-morning pizza slice.

Oh, shut up.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, **_**Who Run The World (Girls)**_

* * *

To: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** Important developments in resolution management  
Feb 15, 2013 1:58 pm

I'm impressed you can stomach more pizza after that last night. (I'm not judging you. Resolution intact.)

That article is for quitters, by the way.

* * *

To: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE: **Important developments in resolution management  
Feb 15, 2013 2:11 pm

Okay, I'm proposing a new resolution. How about we resolve to embrace our imperfections and love ourselves without reservation? That way I can have as much candy as I want and you can continue to have spirited "debates" with your patient's boyfriend over his Red Sox jacket, which I totally caught, by the way. He was a bit of a douche, but still.

Thanks for making my Valentine's Day less suckish, by the way. :o)

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"Boy, I know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business." _**Beyonce Knowles, **_**Who Run The World (Girls)**_

* * *

**I'm still trying out new delis.  
****If you're done with your procedure  
****do you want to grab lunch?**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Feb 21, 12:25 p.m.**

_**Yes, that's perfect! I found the best deli a few days  
**__**ago and it's so cool! It's hard to describe, but one  
**__**review used the term "New world deli chic." It's  
**__**attached to a gastropub!  
**__**You may want to bring a tie.**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
**__**Feb 21, 12:27 p.m.**_

**Gastro pub? I don't like the sounds of it.  
****I'm not wearing a tie.**

**To: Mindy Lahiri  
****Feb 21, 12:27 pm**

* * *

**(Post-It on a pack of Twizzlers in the doctors lounge of the hospital)**

For Mindy:

That corned beef was better than I'd like to admit.  
Know you've got surgeries scheduled most of today.  
Lunch is on me.


	4. Pen Pals

_May 25, 2013_

Danny,

You should know that I thought long and hard about who I should address my first letter to the practice to. Sending it to Betsy might lead her to believe that I'm reconsidering conversion, I feel like Morgan might mistake it as a romantic overture, Jeremy wouldn't care, and something tells me that I shouldn't bequeath Beverly with samples of my handwriting, so…you're the lucky winner, buddy! I encourage you to treat this like the honor it is.

Danny, it is so beautiful here. I never expected to develop an attachment to this place so quickly, but I've grown such a soft spot for this little village and I already feel like I'll be forever changed by it. The heat doesn't suffocate me here like it does back home. While I still think nothing compares to the Autumn in New York, the sun-painted trees of Haiti give the changing leaves of the city viable competition. And I watched a sunrise today! I know I've said a couple times that I would never feel compelled to get up early to watch the sun, but I did today and it was gorgeous. I never imagined that something so mundane could make me feel a part of something so great, like the Earth and I were in on the same secret. It was pretty neat.

And I know you're going to make fun of me when I tell you this, but I'm going to tell you anyway: you know that excitement I feel whenever we walk by that bakery close to our building and I can smell the bread from outside? Well, I feel the same excitement here, too, even though the air here doesn't smell exactly the same. Truth be told: the air here can get pretty foul… way worse than what we're used to at the transit station. But when we get to visit the market and the guy is avidly pushing his mangoes, the sweet smell embeds itself in my nose and stays with me until Casey and I get back to our hut. Sometimes the smell of spices and cooking meat overrides the stench of sewage and it reminds me of growing up and smelling my mother's cooking from my room (the spices, not the sewage, obviously). It's amazing how something so simple can awaken a part of us so aggressively, a part of us that we had forgotten about or simply had no clue existed.

I'm running out of room and I didn't even get to tell you about the people! They are so incredible, but I think I'll have to save that for my next letter (Oh yes, there will be more. Sorry, not sorry!). What's going on over there? Tell me everything, leave nothing out.

I miss you all…yes, Danny, that includes you.  
Mindy

* * *

_June 2, 2013_

Mindy,

I'm happy to be the choice of your first letter home. Even if the list of other contenders is lacking and this honor is by default.

How are you? Your letter makes it sound like you're on a vacation in paradise (except for some of the foul smells). Tell me more about the village you're so taken with. Somehow the way you're describing it makes it sound really nice.

I have to say I'm impressed you're adapting so well. Thriving, even. I know when you set your mind to something there's no changing it, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I would have never pegged you for the kind to wake up expressly to watch the sunrise.

Tell me about the people and the work.

Let's see. . . what have you missed here? I think Morgan is secretly running an underground no-kill shelter out of his grandmother's house, but I can't prove it. Betsy and Beverly are, well, still Betsy and Beverly. No change there. Jeremy's dating the entirety of the Met's ballet dancers at once and it's starting to get - interesting. Let's just put it this way: if Jeremy owned a car someone would have keyed it by now. They all miss you and I'll read some of your letter aloud to them once I've finished writing this.

Good hearing from you.  
Danny

* * *

_June 12, 2013_

Danny,

Getting your letter was honestly the highlight of my week! For some reason I thought any response from you would be written begrudgingly. I can't think of a time that I've ever been happier to be so wrong. I wouldn't advise you to get use to it, though. I'll resume my role as "the right one" soon enough.

Port-au-Prince is definitely not my typical vision of paradise - much of the city is still devastated from the earthquake years ago and there's a growing presence of slums - but we have the fortune of being situated in one of the more developed areas, a village that is slowly rebuilding. It's mostly comprised of tents and shacks with the market serving as the bustling center. Our hut is simple and is adorned with very little more than a clothing line and very basic furnishings, but we are among some of the lushest trees and a very modest garden, which is more than what most people have. I love it. I reminds me of hard work.

The people are what make the city so beautiful. There is a constant, genuine sense of community here. Everyone talks, laughs, and fights like family and they help each other, even though they don't have much. There are these two sisters who have taken a liking to me, Fredeline and Saraphina. They are eight and ten and, thankfully, have no knowledge of how historically awful I am with children. We see each other in the market often and they follow me while I shop. Danny, they are so adorable, with all of their questions about city life and American schools. Saraphina is especially interested in me - she wants to become a doctor. Fredeline says that she wants to grow up to be the wife of Bruno Mars. I completely support both dreams with almost the same amount of intensity (obviously I'm rooting for the Saraphina's goals more, but...it's Bruno. I can't blame Freddie too much).

There are a few other volunteers here, including Samantha, a recent college grad from a small town in Kentucky who mainly works on housing, and a young doctor named Gavin. He's also from New York (Long Island, I think), he's serious, and it's very hard to rope him into idle chat. He is, however, an amazing doctor and very great with the kids. In some ways he reminds me of you when we first met.

This would probably be a good time to confess that I didn't actually wake up for the sunrise on my own accord. A supply truck backfired early one morning and startled me awake. Between the noise of the truck and Casey's snoring I found it impossible to go back to sleep. I decided to sit under one of my favorite trees (yes, I, Mindy Lahiri, have a favorite tree) until I felt tired again. When that time never came, I found myself staring into the horizon and in the company of the rising sun. It was a gorgeous sight...but you're right. Even after witnessing such beauty, I'm still not one to rise early and experience it on my own volition. That's why I didn't tell Casey. I just know that if I did, he'd be waking me up every other morning. Will I ever be one of those women who prefers the simple pleasure of a sunrise? I would like to think that it's possible.

Sitting under that tree I thought a lot about home and the work I'm doing in Port-au-Prince. I feel needed in an entirely different sense here, Danny. Back home, there are options. What we do is so important, obviously, but our patients can ultimately go somewhere else, for any reason. Here, the other volunteers and I are all this village has. I just feel like I'm making more of an impact here. Sometimes that weight of that impact can get to me, but overall it feels incredible.

I'm not entirely confident that I know what a no-kill shelter is, but I can still say with absolute certainty that yes, Morgan is running one of those. Nothing that you said about Jeremy surprises me one bit. How is Tamra working out?

And I believe I gave you very clear instructions to not leave anything out, and yet you conveniently left out any and all updates concerning you. How are you? What's new? What hasn't changed? Tell me everything (and I mean everything).

Miss you all,  
Mindy

* * *

_June 19, 2013_

Dear Mindy,

I'm not surprised you've already made a ton of friends. The kids sound inquisitive and a lot like you. You're already a doctor and I'm sure you'd be happy to be that Bruno Mars's wife. Of course they like you. And this Gavin sounds clearly very smart and extremely good looking if he reminds you of me.

I've been reading up about Haiti, Port-au-Prince specifically, and how the recovery is going? I don't know a ton about it, but what area are you in? The situation there is astounding. Why are more people not still talking about this? You're doing a good thing. That's true what you said about people having options here and not there. I would imagine that could feel daunting sometimes. Does it make you want to look further into humanitarian work after this year is up? You are actually coming home. Right?

You garden now? I don't believe it. I mean, I believe it . . . but I'm going to need a picture of you with your hands in the dirt to prove it.

I knew you didn't get up early just to watch the sunrise! And so what? It doesn't mean you don't appreciate the simple things - just not that one in particular. You're living in a hut. That should be simple enough.

You know what a no-kill shelter is. I caught you crying a few months ago at the ASPCA commercial in the lounge, remember. Telling me you had hot sauce on your finger when you rubbed your eyes is an unbelievable lie. You had just come out of a delivery.

Tamra. She still sings. A lot. Loudly. And she spends a LOT of time talking to her boyfriend on the office phone. I do stand by my promise not to fire her without good reason while you're gone, though. She is actually a fairly good nurse when she's with patients.

Morgan is spearheading the collection of things to send you. I can't vouch for everything that's being sent, but at least some of it should appeal to you. I know you can't possibility be as excited as you'd like me to believe about all those fresh fruits and vegetables.

Honestly, it's weird here with you away. Morgan keeps trying to get me to go to lunch with him and I'm running out of polite ways to tell him no. He clearly doesn't know who to smother with affection now that you're gone.

I didn't really leave myself out of the last letter. There's not any news to share is all. I'm fine. Oh, I did go to the Jade Turtle the other night for dinner and a couple of the waiters told me to tell you hello.

Keep me updated on your young friends and everything else happening in your world.

Your Not So Begrudging Pen Pal,  
Danny

* * *

_June 29, 2013_

Dear Danny,

My care package arrived just one day after your last letter! Please tell everyone I said thank you for their generosity...especially for the bras! I admit they threw me off at first, but they turned out to be an absolute Godsend. I'm a little - I won't say "disappointed" because I'm grateful for everything I got - surprised by the lack of peanut butter cups in the package, as Morgan and I had a very firm agreement in place before I left. And the Bit-O-Honey, which has Betsy written all over it...I feel bad, but I've just never liked them. I offered the box to Casey, the other volunteers, as well as the kids in the village and nobody wanted it. I literally can't give it away.

We are located in one of the tent cities closest to Marche de fer, or the Iron Market, as us simple Americans know it as. It is soul-crushing to see just how much still needs to be done. You know, it wasn't clear to me just how easy it was to forget about the aftermath of these tragedies when you're not directly faced with it. We heard about the earthquake, immediately took an interest in helping, and then as soon as we felt like we had done enough we moved on to the next thing. I know it was with the best of intentions in mind, but it's so hard to see people still actively searching for their loved ones years later. Even though I'm here and giving as much of me to the cause as I humanly can, there are times when I still feel like I'm not doing enough. Maybe that's why we don't hear anyone talking about it as much; talking about it puts us face to face with just how helpless we truly feel about all of it.

I wouldn't say that I have a ton of friends here, but the few people I've met have really made an impression. Samantha is so blindingly optimistic (which is a lot, coming from me) and wants to help so much. She talks a lot about her church at home and you can tell that she is the girl that volunteers for every little thing. I can imagine that it's one of those things that would annoy you at first until you realize how genuine she is, and then it's just endearing. Surprisingly, she's the only one that has managed to get more than ten words out of Gavin. I think I even saw him smile (or he might have been trying to get food out of his back teeth). Actually, I just recently learned that he had a pretty rough childhood, which included him and his family living out of a van for a period of time. You can see that struggle sometimes when he's with his patients, like his own life depends on their well-being. Gavin's such an inspiration that I purposefully dial back my usual obsessive tendencies to pressure him into friendship. I just let him do his thing; he doesn't need any distractions from me. I also fail to see how his good looks have any connection to you whatsoever, but I'm sure you'll educate me soon enough.

Please tell Wyatt and Desmond at the Jade Turtle that I said hi! And I could have sworn that you made fun of the Turtle not too long ago for being a place only fit for "desperate dates and shameless cougars", so which one are you? Did you have a hot date? And if I can get a little more than "yes" or "no," that would be great...because "I'm fine" does not count as an update. It's okay to talk about yourself, you know. Seriously, Danny, how are you these days?

Speaking of hot dates, you should really go to lunch with Morgan. He's intense, but he's fun. And you need someone there to bounce your ridiculous rants off of in a pinch with me over here. Plus, he knows a lot of really great places and is friends with 90% of the busboys in the city, so he gets insane discounts. Go. You might be surprised.

If I didn't know any better, I would think that Danny Castellano is worried that I might decide to never return home. That can't be the case, though, right? I'm sure you've fantasized about all the peace and quiet you'd finally be able to enjoy, all of the clients you'd absorb...oh, just think about all that good insurance...

I like to think that a little part of you misses me, though.

Talk to you soon,  
Mindy

P.S. - I made sure to snap a picture of my dirty, garden smudged hands washing fresh bell peppers, which I happened to be very excited about, thank you very much. I'll show it to you when I do eventually return.

* * *

_July 10, 2013_

Dear Mindy,

You're welcome for the package. This may or may not lessen your gratitude when I tell you that the bras were from Morgan. He insisted. And weirdly, he knew your size...

The Bit-O-Honey was indeed from Betsy. Good eye. You will be happy to know that we convinced her the box was already too full for her to add the Necco Wafers. Be warned though that she has intentions of making sure they're first in the next box. And I will personally ensure there are at least enough Reese Cups in the next box to send you into a diabetic coma.

I read up on the Marche de fer. It sounds intense. There was an article on one site that said sometimes the market is hard to walk through because of desperate people accosting the public trying to sell their wares? Is this something you have experienced? And if so, is it any worse than some of those sample sales that you've told me about? I hope you feel safe there and your pastor is looking out for you. He seems like a nice guy, but maybe more of a lover than a fighter.

You're a good person, Mindy. Have I ever told you that? I give you a lot of grief but what you're doing there is important and a huge sacrifice. You should be really proud of the work you're doing there. I make sure and give updates about what you're doing to all of your patients when I see them. I was talking to Mrs. Rodriguez about it today and she sends her regards. She said she's praying for you and when you get back she's going to make you a welcome home flan.

Mindy Lahiri, dialing back her obsessive tenancies to force people to be her friend? Never. You must really think a lot of this guy. And it sounds like to me you've got your very own little soap opera brewing. I don't know if it's actually happening or if it's just the way you're telling it, but it sounds like to me this Gavin is into Samantha. Anything happen since you sent your last letter? Jeez. Somehow you got me invested in this!

Yeah, I caved and went to lunch with Morgan last week. He promised he was buying and that we were going to Chipotle. Turns out it was some guy whose name is Dewayne Chipotle and serves burritos out of his trunk. It was pretty good actually. We're going back next week.

Of course I've fantasized about all the peace and quiet with you out of the picture for good! I'm already storing my bike in your office again. And Mrs. Rodriguez may have said she would make you a welcome home flan, but she told me that she's making me churros for my birthday. And you know that Mrs. Rodriguez has full medical coverage through her job.

I'm good. Honestly. And I was there at the Jade Turtle on a date. I guess they're still dates even if you've been married and divorced once already? Christina and I went. I kind of figured you assumed we were still together. I know I told you we were going to take things slower, but why wait, right? There's a place in Jersey that she found that she really likes. It's in an artsy neighborhood, a lot of farmers markets and the like, but there's a nice yard. And if traffic's okay it's less than an hour commute into the city. We put in an offer on it Thursday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Take care of yourself,  
Danny

P.S. One of those Housewife shows of yours was on the other night in the lounge while I was in there reading my paper. Doris came in to clean and thought I was watching it even though clearly I wasn't. I wished you'd been there to blame it on. So I guess I missed you that day.

* * *

_July 21, 2013_

Dear Danny,

Wow, I did not make the connection that you were still with Christina at all, for some reason! I kind of assumed that you would slow things down to a stop. That was my mistake. I'm happy to hear that you're feeling comfortable enough to move things forward. Not gonna lie, I'm not happy to hear your plans to move out of the city. Truth be told, I do look forward to our commute. Arguing with you over the validity of televised talent competitions tends to make the time go by a lot faster. Still, I hope things work out with the house, despite those menacing farmer's markets. If you're happy, then I'm happy.

The market can get a little intense, but I have the added benefits of being accompanied by my well-known "pastor" (a strange way for you to refer to my boyfriend, but whatever) and having the ability to blend in a little better than most of the volunteers. I don't get hassled as much as I could. There have been a couple of times when tensions ran high and violence broke out, but Casey got me out of there pretty swiftly. I've also gotten a lot better at spotting the signs of incoming trouble and leaving before anything gets out of hand, which is a skill I'll be taking back to the city. So yes, Casey does a good job of looking out for me, but I'm definitely capable of looking out for myself.

Somehow I'm not shocked that Morgan was responsible for the undergarments. He's hella intuitive about those things. I may be going crazy, but I have a growing suspicion that he's tracking my cycles. He tends to tread lightly around me on the 11th of each month and pushes the suggestion of Greek food pretty insistently during that time, which tends to be my go-to craving. And I'm glad Morgan took you to Dewayne's! As sketchy as it is, those burritos are pretty amazing.

Between watching Real Housewives of Miami (which you were) and being very invested in the gossip of the Caribbean (which you totally are), I would guess that you miss me more than you care to admit. I can admit that I missed you when I ate my last candy bar (I could almost hear you yelling at me to "read the ingredients in that crap")!

To be honest, I never really looked at Samantha and Gavin as anything serious until you mentioned it. The day after I got your letter, Samantha approached us about rebuilding a hospital in one of the neighboring tent cities. Before any of us could say anything, Gavin immediately jumped in and was like "Whatever you need, Sam!" I wasn't as taken back his eagerness to help as I was about him referring to her as "Sam," which was crazy informal for him. We spend most of our day together and he still calls me Dr. Lahiri! She was happy to hear the rest of us agree to help, but she seemed almost relieved to see Gavin so willing. I don't know, there might be something there! I just figured they were friendly.

Thank you for saying what you said. I really needed to read that, honestly. To be honest, the past few days have been a little rough. I keep having this reoccurring dream where I'm shopping in a department store and I'm carrying a ton of bags on both arms. I can tell by the sight of my hair and my outfit that I look how I normally do when I'm in the city (or did look, prior to chopping off my hair), but as soon as I reach a mirror, the reflection looks more like how I look now, in my dirty jeans, no make-up, and I'm almost bald. The reflection looks so disgusted with me just before it punches out the mirror, and there's glass everywhere and it cuts my arms and legs so badly. Of course, I can't outrun it because I can never seem to run in my dreams whenever it's vital. It scares the absolute crap out of me. Danny, what if I go back home and manage to take none of the lessons I've learned here with me? What if I just go back to my regular life and over time I forget about all of this? I know it's pretty normal to worry about losing sight of who we are outside of all this volunteer work...but what if the person I am when I'm home is just not that great? I've literally been losing sleep over all this.

You know what would make me feel better? Telling me about a typical day. Just describe your day to me. I know there's a stand-in OB helping out. How is he/she? Who's the craziest patient now that Mrs. Tipley gave birth? Just walk me through life without Mindy (and spare me the details regarding how quiet it is).

At the risk of getting way too sappy...you're a good person, too. If you don't hear it from me, I hope you're at least hearing it from somebody.

Until I hear from you again,  
Mindy

* * *

_August 2, 2013_

Dear Mindy,

For some reason it didn't occur to me that you would assume Christina and I weren't still together. I did say that about slowing things down, though. And they were slow, for a while. I'm happy. This is a second chance. It's my opportunity to get things right. Most people don't get those and it feels ungrateful to squander it. Relationships are all about compromises, right? You know this. You're in Haiti right now. Sometimes you have to do hard things that turn out to be good for you for the sake of your partner. Honestly, do I want to live in some swanky neighborhood full of young hippies that's adding an extra hour to my commute every day? Not really, no. But it's what Christina wants. It's what she needs to be happy. And I get that, I guess. I can make that compromise for her.

Yeah, it'll be weird not seeing you on the commute, but we'll still find plenty of time to argue about those stupid TV programs you watch.

Of course you can take care of yourself. What was I thinking? That was pretty dumb, huh? You're the woman who single-handedly threw a man twice your size to the ground because he was on fire. I believe that you can handle yourself if things get a little dicey. Which is good, because at the risk of sounding like an ass, I've seen your boyfriend fight. He isn't very good.

Morgan says we aren't going to Dewaye's anymore. Something to do with a falling out over rescue animals. I think maybe he didn't take great care of a potbellied pig Morgan let him adopt. At least I hope that's what it's about. Due to the dubious nature of Big Dewayne's "Chipotle" Burrito Trunk I was a little afraid to ask the nature of a dispute involving the trade of animals.

Any news regarding your fellow volunteers?

That's rough that you're having those dreams. Is it affecting your sleep? You know how important that is, and if I had to imagine you're probably throwing yourself so hard into your work right now in a misguided effort to prove how selfless your really are that you are neglecting your rest. Am I right? That could be part of it. Quit stressing out so much and dial back the self-imposed pressure. You're not going to forget about your time there or the way this experience is changing you. But, and I want to make this pretty clear here, there was nothing wrong with the Mindy Lahiri who left here to go to Haiti. Do you think I don't know what you do around here? You think you're so stealth that I don't notice the patients you take on knowing full well they don't have insurance? Haiti isn't making you a good person. It's just illuminating that you already are. So don't be an idiot and try and get more rest.

A typical day... I'm drawing a blank here, Min. I don't know. I come in at my regular time, go over the schedule and review the charts of patients coming in with anything other than routine appointments. I answer emails. Then start seeing patients. Are you seriously interested in this? Because I'm boring myself here. Then there's lunch, I guess. Which is interesting only when I allow Morgan to force me to eat with him. Most of the time I just eat something alone on the fly in the break room. Which you already know. Then whatever time Betsy has left open for me in the afternoon I go to the gym. Then back, see a few more patients, then home. Did you ask me to write this out as a reminder as to how dull my days are compared to yours? Because it's working even if that wasn't your intention.

Or maybe you wanted to hear details about this day in particular. Which that reads almost exactly like what I already wrote. Except I went to the gym before lunch and grabbed a sandwich from that place you like on 18th Street. And when I got back just a few minutes ago the mail had come, and with it your letter. Now here I am.

You remember Jeremy's patient, Mary Anne Collins? Without going into great detail, she got into a verbal altercation with the new ultrasound tech, Amber, and in a fit of hormonal rage squirted an entire tube of ultrasound gel in her face. After her eyes were flushed thoroughly, Amber quit. (Apparently ultrasound gel in the eyes is very painful.) Mrs. Collins has seemed perfectly happy ever since this happened. She's having twin boys, by the way.

There is a new doctor filling in. His name is Paul Leotard and he seems like an okay guy. He's using your office. I had to move my bike.

I appreciated what you said. I want you to be happy, too.

All my best,  
Danny

P. S. Sorry about all the tape. This was already in the stack of outgoing mail and I had to reopen it - but I wanted you to know. After a lot of negotiations the offer on the house was finally accepted. The closing is scheduled for the middle of next week. By the time you get this I'll own a house in Cliffside Park, New Jersey.

* * *

_August 13, 2013_

Dear Danny,

Congratulations to you and Christina on becoming homeowners! I'm sure she was thrilled to get her house. You are right about relationships and compromise. My only hope is that you feel like you're truly being met in the middle. You're settling into Christina's house and Christina's type of neighborhood in Christina's town...I just want to know that you're getting something out of all of this, too, other than the chance to be with her again (unless that's enough, in which case...great!). I won't worry too much about it, though. You always seem to know what you're doing, so this shouldn't be any different.

I got another care package today! Thank you all so much being so sweet. And thank you, specifically, for the noticeable increase in peanut butter cups! They completely turned my day around. Interesting, though...one of the cupcakes in the Hostess box had a razor blade meticulously hidden in the middle and there's only one person in the office who brags about that particular skill set. Does Beverly think I'm in prison?

I should be very upset with you for at least two reasons. The first is for ever planting the idea of Sam and Gavin in my head. You know I can't resist a budding love story, especially if it's occurring just feet away from me. While we were working on the hospital I asked one of the other volunteers about them. I found out that Samantha is happily married and Gavin plans on proposing to his girlfriend of five years once he returns to the States. How awful is that?

The second thing I should be positively livid with you about is your inability to refrain from psychoanalyzing me from 1500 miles away. If I've been burning the candle at both ends lately, it's because of a recent influenza outbreak and the hospital rebuilding...and maybe a little bit of what you said. I don't know, a part of me knows deep down that I'm a decent person, but lately I've felt this need to test myself and make sure that's true. Thank you for being so supportive...even if you did turn around and call me an idiot seconds later. I wish you were here to talk some sense into me from time to time.

I like that your day was dull. I've learned to appreciate consistency while here. It feels weird to hear that there's some guy in my office, replacing me and such. I hope he's nice! And it's a shame to hear about Amber! I only met her a few days before my trip, but she seemed like a fun girl. Mrs. Collins is a completely different person when she's pregnant. Remember the last time when she tugged my hair because the forceps were too cold? After she had her daughter she made me the best rice krispy treats I've ever had as an apology. I don't know how Jeremy manages her. I guess an accent can do wonders.

Morgan goes through this with Dewayne a lot and don't worry, it's not nearly as bad as you think. He'll be on good terms with him again by next week and will take you over there for a burrito to celebrate. Speaking of Morgan, either him or Betsy were responsible for slipping in a practice-wide group picture in my care package, which I adored! I put it up in my station in the medical tent. I had to administer medicine to Fredeline (Bruno Mars's future wife) and when she saw the photo she immediately pointed you out and asked a million questions about you. I think you have a new admirer in the form of a tiny 8-year-old Haitian beauty. I told her you were in a committed relationship, but she didn't seem terribly phased by it.

I've started making a list of all the things I'm going to enjoy first when I get back to the city. While I love it here, there are a few things I miss, like bear claws and expensive cocktails. Actually, I miss alcohol in general. Going on a mission trip with your super Christian boyfriend doesn't lead to many drinking opportunities, shockingly. I'd even take a beer, and we both know I'm not that big of a beer enthusiast.

While I'm sure there's stuff that I'm leaving out, I'm going to end this letter a little early. A very frank, mildly concerned friend of mine made a suggestion that I should get more rest. He might have been a little right about that, but I would never be crazy enough to tell him that. He's a great guy, but that's the last thing his ego needs.

Miss you,  
Min

P.S. - It's the next day and I thought you might like to know that last night was the first dreamless night I've had in a while.

* * *

_August 23, 2013_

Dear Mindy,

I had forgotten about the hair pulling incident. I'll keep that information about Mrs. Collins in mind the next time Jeremy asks me to cover his patients for him.

I actually kind of understand how you feel about it being weird having someone in your place. Paul (who is proving to be a good doctor, maybe a little unorthodox and good guy) is subletting my furnished apartment now that Christina and I are in Jersey. The house is nice, by the way. It's a lot of space. Anyway, it was my idea for him to move in and I'm happy to have the extra income. Just - that place still feels like home and it's weird someone I know living there. And it's strange there being someone other than you in your office.

I don't know what to say in response to your comments regarding me only bending to what Christina wants. Thanks for looking out for me, I guess. Technically, you're not wrong. It feels like an overstatement, though. I understand why you're concerned, but what would you do in this situation? Wouldn't you do everything you could to make it work with someone you vowed to love forever?

I'm going to have to have to talk with Beverly about hiding razors in things. If you weren't weird about picking your food apart you could have really gotten hurt. You're welcome about the peanut butter cups. It didn't seem like there were as many in the box as I bought the other day. I think someone in the office may be eating them. Next time I'm going to lock them in my desk until we send another package.

Don't say that about your volunteer friends - It's nice that they're both happy. Even if it didn't work out the theatrical way you were hoping. It would have made a good story, though.

At the risk of overstepping, I feel like this self doubt you're feeling towards being a good person is coming from somewhere else. It doesn't sound like you. Is someone making you feel this way? I mean, I honestly expected these letters from you to be a little unbearable in the amount of times you'd compare yourself to Mother Teresa. I did not anticipate you doubting your goodness. Where is this coming from, Mindy?

This friend of yours sounds smart. And handsome. But don't let it go to his head. I'm glad you got a good nights sleep.

I have an admirer, huh? Kid's got good taste. Tell Fredeline I said hi and give her a wink from me. That should give me the edge over the other guy, right? I'll give that Mars guy a run for his money.

You said there's been an outbreak of flu? How's that going? I know you've had your shot, right? So you're okay. I don't want to hear about you getting sick because you're not being careful. Plus, you're a terrible patient.

How's the progress on the hospital you're building?

Tell you what, when you get back home I'll buy you a drink. A big one. Maybe even more than one. Add that to your list.

Fine. I miss you, too.  
Danny


	5. Surrogate

To: **Christina Porter**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: So you know  
Oct 15, 2013 2:28 pm

Christina,

Since you're apparently not going to call me back, I figured I should at least send you this email to let you know I've hired an attorney. His name is Clifford Gilbert, Esq. and he'll be contacting the gallery and your agent.

I may not have it done by the time it opens tonight, but this so called "art show" of yours will be stopped.

- Dan

* * *

**I remember getting to the gallery and calling the cops.**  
**And I remember leaving with that woman. (Don't ask.)**  
**Everything in the middle is hazy.**  
**  
**  
**To: Mindy Lahiri **  
**Oct 16, 2013 8:33 a.m.**  
**  
**  
**What I'm getting at is - do I want to know what happened?**  
**And if there is anyone I need to apologize to**  
**could you please make me a very vague list?**  
**  
**  
**To: Mindy Lahiri**  
**Oct 16, 2013 8:34 a.m.**  
**  
**  
**Just in case, so I'm covered: I'm sorry.**  
**Also there's a photo of your breasts on my phone.**  
**Everyone got that, right?**  
**  
**  
**To: Mindy Lahiri**  
**Oct 16, 2013 8:34 a.m. **

_**Yeah, everyone got that picture. Something  
tells me you have yet to delete it, you perv.  
It made it onto Instagram too, but it trended,  
so it's not entirely negative, right? **__  
_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 16, 2013 8:41 a.m.**_

_**(1/2)As far as apologies go...you were very close to  
exposing yourself to everyone in attendance. There  
were two men who were vocally upset when you  
didn't. They might appreciate an apology. We should  
also consider sending an Edible Arrangement to Cliff**_

_**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 16, 2013 8:43 a.m. **_

_**(2/2)as a practice for continuing to solicit his services  
for free. For real, we owe him, like, thousands of  
dollars.**__  
__**  
**__  
__**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 16, 2013 8:43 a.m.**_

_**All in all...I think your behavior last night was justified,  
considering the circumstances. I'm sure anyone else in**_

_**your position would have reacted similarly. I wouldn't  
worry about it. :o)  
**__**  
**__**  
**__**To: Danny Castellano  
Oct 16, 2013 8:45 a.m**_**.**

* * *

To: **Christina Porter**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Why?  
Oct 16, 2013 9:59 am

Christina,

Clearly I hurt you. I get it. What I don't understand is how you feel justified in humiliating and literally exposing me in such a public way. Was I really that shitty a husband that you felt the need to do this?

If your intention was to hurt me in the most shameful way then it was a success. Everyone I know was at that show last night. So I guess you got what you wanted. Can you stop it now? Will you please just **(Auto-saved as draft****10:01AM****. Message never sent.)**

* * *

**(Note on top of clipped articles left on Danny's desk)**

I thought you might want to take a look at some of the reviews I found in some of newspapers for last night's show, especially the one that was very complimentary of the model "who struck a perfect balance between physical beauty and tortured morality." I also included an online review from a woman who apparently took great pleasure in your photos...and talked about her appreciation of each photo in very explicit detail. Almost uncomfortably explicit.

Also...avoid the Post and Daily Journal, if you can. I'll be happy to fill you in on any important news throughout the day.

* * *

To: **Christina Porter**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Never  
Oct 16, 2013 3:01 pm

Christina,

I should have never given you a second chance. That's on me. I thought I still loved you. I even thought that just because I wasn't still angry that it made you cheating on me, in our bed, somehow okay. Like if I could get over it then it didn't matter anymore. Like it never happened. I should have realized you haven't changed. You still have no problem screwing me over.

Wasn't fucking my colleague - _again, in my bed_ - enough for you? You didn't even have the guts to be there for my public humiliation. I would've pegged you for a lot of things, Christina. Like being a vindictive bitch. But I never would have thought you were a coward.

My attorney is getting an injunction. Your "art" is getting shut down.

I regret that I ever trusted you again. And I don't love you. **(Auto-saved as draft****3:07PM****. Message never sent.)**

* * *

_October 16, 2013_

Christina,

You should know that there have been only two instances in my life where rage has driven me to the point of actually hand-writing a letter. The first was to the ABC network for the untimely cancellation of GCB, which left its most loyal fanbase with an unresolved cliffhanger. This would be the second time, for you, Christina, have given me a lot to be livid about.

Considering recent events, I really don't appreciate being used by you as a tool to reenter Danny's life, only for you to humiliate him repeatedly. For once, I actually intended on minding my own business and abstaining from involvement in Danny's romantic life (because, admittedly, it has always been a weird point of interest for me). I was well on my way to achieving that until you followed me like a psychopath and begged me to essentially be your wingwoman. I agreed not for you, but for Danny, hoping that this would be an opportunity for him to find the closure he's needed for years and possibly stumble upon some shred of happiness. By handing me that letter, you made a tacit agreement to use the opportunity to make amends and begin earning him. Yes, Christina, Danny Castellano is a man to be earned, not just acquired, then emotionally abused the moment you get upset.

At first I found the idea of an art exhibit featuring tasteful nudes of Danny "I Don't Want My Life Tracked by the Instagrams and Whatnot" Castellano fairly amusing. More than that, I thought it was high time for a showdown between you two to end your pettiness once and for all. It wasn't until we got there and I saw the pain and betrayal in his eyes as he fielded the millionth question regarding his scrotum when I realized just how incredibly messed up all of it was. I'm sure it took a lot of love, respect, and above all, TRUST in order for a man like Danny to pose for those pictures for you and I know he would have never agreed to do those in a million years had he thought there was even a glimmer of a possibility of you sharing them with anyone, let alone a gallery full of people. And for you to not even BE THERE had to be the most cowardly thing I could ever imagine. Who the hell do you think you are?! If you insist on dragging a good man's image through the mud, the least you could do is be there to supervise your mess.

Trust me, I can understand how getting dumped might upset you…and I do believe that there was a time when you truly loved him, so that could color your reaction to how things ended. But you know how you're supposed to deal with break-ups? You deal like every other normal woman: you drown yourself in a few bottles of wine, cry along to some Amy Winehouse, talk about how small his penis is to all of your friends, then Facebook stalk him for a few months. You do all that on repeat until you find the strength to put on some eyeliner and anonymously grind on a random guy or two in a club. You don't make it your personal mission to make his life unlivable, just because he had the courage to end things before the BOTH of you found yourselves stuck in an unhappy, fruitless marriage. And you can't convince me that you were happy dragging him to sex therapy week after week and sitting through marathons of History Channel documentaries.

I guess after everything I've witnessed over the past couple of months, I have only one question: you have now trashed his personal property during an unnecessarily public display at his place of business (I'm guessing the suggestion of replacing his laptop would be too much to ask of you, by the way), slept with his colleague in his bed (how about new bed sheets?), and made some very private photos available for the entire city to gawk at and ridicule. How long and how often do you plan on humiliating him before you just fuck off for good and allow him to find his happiness?

Signed,  
Dr. Mindy Lahiri

P.S. – Paul Leotard is rumored to be the carrier of a yet-to-be-classified string of Chlamydia. No, I will not refer you to a specialist, you awful bitch.

P.P.S. - GET ME THE HELL OFF OF THAT GALLERY'S STUPID E-MAIL LIST! It's only been a few days since the exhibit and I've received no less the seven e-mails. Tell your friends to stop harassing me! God, I hate artists!


	6. Return to Sender

******Note: This story is co-written by PhunkyBrewster and HelenVanPattersonPatton. Neither writer owns any of the characters associated with The Mindy Project. The writers would also like to express their extreme gratitude for the amazing support they have received for this story thus far!**

* * *

**(Written on a coffee-ring stained, yellow legal pad at Danny's kitchen table. 1:15 am, Nov 13, 2013)**

Mindy,

You're asleep a few feet away, just on the other side of that door, and it would be so simple to say these words to your face. I want to. I wasn't sure what I was going to say when you made your feelings clear earlier, but I do now. I wish I had the courage to wake you up and say them.

I wish I had the courage to just kiss you.

Is it dumb writing this to you instead? For some reason I don't believe you'll think it is. At this point we've gotten pretty good at writing what we really think to each other.

I was surprised when you said what you did about your crush. Why not just tell me? But I get it now. You thought it would be better to ease into it. You're probably right. I can already think of a million reasons why this is a bad idea.

What you may not have anticipated is that it is something I've thought about before. We never talked about it, but you know I almost kissed you the night you cut your hair. The night you changed your mind that last time and decided to go to Haiti.

It's not like I've thought about it all that much or anything, but it is pointless to deny that there's something between us. Clearly you feel it, too.

You used my toothbrush. The bristles were wet when I went to use it and I didn't even mind it that much. That has to mean something, doesn't it?

I don't know where we go from here. There's more on the line than just feelings, and I don't want to mess things up. We have to try though, right? We'll regret it if we don't at least try. I'll regret it.

So I'm going to let you sleep. And tomorrow everything will change. Tomorrow I may even give you this letter.

Yours,

Danny

* * *

**(Written on forgotten personalized stationary in Mindy's bed. 12:47 a.m. Dec 14, 2013)**

Danny,

I'm not sure what happened, but something went terribly wrong with the man trap. I know you don't like me to bug you with this kind of stuff, but you're the one I usually come to when I need perspective...when I need guidance. And I can't think of a time when I've needed more guidance than now.

Cliff ended up meeting me outside. He even smuggled me a cookie. Then, with the falling snow and the looping carols in the background, he kissed me. It happened exactly as I planned. And I can tell you about every minute detail, every flash of light, every single honk of the cab horns below or the smell that was a strange mix of garbage and holly.

I can tell you with confidence that there were three snowflakes that clung to Cliff's eyelashes. I can tell you about a very indecisive pigeon that flew away, came back for six seconds, and flew away again only to come back once more. I can even recall a very loud conversation regarding the declining quality of Marco's Bakery that was taking place in the building across from ours. Danny, I can tell you everything you need to know, and that's the problem. The perfect kiss isn't in the all of the little details that surround it; it's in the absence of time and sense and shapes and colors. The perfection is in the way everything blurs. And you probably think I gathered that notion from an Anne Hathaway movie, but I didn't. I gathered it from experience. I gathered it from you.

Do you remember the night in the doctor's lounge, the night I told you I was leaving for Haiti? Danny, you don't ever have to admit it, but I just know that you were going to kiss me. And even though I was with Casey, a part of me screamed on the inside for you to kiss me so loudly that, beyond all reason, I thought that you may have heard it and were responding to it. And when you neared, touching my face and looking at me with an openness I've never seen from you, everything swirled and blurred. There was a strange crackling in my ears and all I could smell and taste was your sandalwood cologne. Your lips hadn't even touched mine yet and I already felt like I was drowning in something that I couldn't describe. The only life preserver I could grasp within my reach was the tiny shred of rationale that led me to panic and blurt that I had reconciled with Casey. To this day, I can't help but wish that I had just let myself sink, haircut and all.

And I feel like the night I spent at your place was such a missed opportunity. I know my big mouth made it difficult once again, but I also know that the moment you held me in front of Amy felt like something so much bigger than a rouse...and crush be damned, if he wanted to, then Danny Castellano would have seized that moment to go after what he wanted because Danny Castellano is a real man, right? He's the type of guy who would chase an intruder out of his apartment, naked and wielding a baseball bat, or tell a woman she's beautiful during her grossest moment, or simply kiss a girl he liked. He would have kissed me tonight.

I'd be foolish to give up a sure thing with someone like Cliff just because of a very frustrating crush on my friend, right? By all logic, we would crash and burn almost instantly. Between your stubbornness and my uncanny ability to obliterate every relationship I find myself in, it would be crazy to even consider it. I'd be stupid to.

I'd be an idiot to give you this letter, so I'm probably not going to.

Mindy


	7. Baby, It's Code

**A/N: This installment contains adult content.**

* * *

TO: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: Important  
March 24, 2014 9:14 a.m.

I'm attaching my schedule for this week. As you can see, I'm in surgery most of Wednesday and all morning on Friday. It doesn't look like I have any appointments during the last hour on Thursday. I'm considering leaving that block open and heading home early. I just thought you might find this information useful. :o)

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"FLAWLESS." _**Beyonce, **_*****Flawless**_

* * *

TO: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** Important  
March 24, 2014 9:17 a.m.

Okay. Thanks for letting me know.

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

TO: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** Important  
March 24, 2014 9:19 a.m.

_Your schedule._ Sorry.

I have appointments until late on Thursday. I'll have Betsy start rescheduling. What do you say? 4:00? We can go out, anywhere you want. We can even wait until 8:00 so you don't feel old. Or I can bring takeout. And then we can make out. ;)

It still counts as a date if I bring Chinese food, right?

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

TO: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** Important  
March 24, 2014 9:22 a.m.

What about tonight? I won't be finished until late, but I want to see you.

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

TO: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE: RE**: Important  
March 24, 2014 9:32 a.m.

You can come by only if you bring those chicken tenders from the hospital cafeteria! I've been thinking about them all morning...between thoughts of you, of course. I promise I thought of you more than chicken.

But still, bring the chicken. If you do, I'll wear that lip gloss you like. :-)

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"FLAWLESS." _**Beyonce, **_*****Flawless**_

* * *

**We got sick around the same time and you were  
worse off than me. How were you discharged from  
the hospital before me? You're coming back, right?****  
We barely made it through chapter 2 of BJD!**

**To: Dan  
****March 29, 4:22 p.m.**

I'm on my way.  
You're not supposed to have it, but do you want me  
to sneak you ice cream?

To: My Girl  
March 29, 4:24 p.m.

Did you change your name in my phone again?  
You know I don't know how to change it back.

To: My Girl  
March 29, 4:24 p.m.

On second thought I don't mind the change.  
It's accurate.

To: My Girl  
March 29, 4:29 p.m.

**Damn right, it's accurate. :-) Yes, ice cream would  
****be amazing. Neapolitan. I promise not to eat only the  
****strawberry this time. Get here soon. I already miss  
****you.**

**To: Dan  
****March 29, 4:31 p.m.**

* * *

**(A large Post-It left on a lingerie catalog and printed itineraries, all slipped into Danny's messenger bag, April 9, 2014)**

Thought you might need a little encouragement, so I outlined a few date options. Each itinerary includes five mini-dates that can technically happen in a single day. Also, I've circled all of my favorite items in the Spring Frederick's of Hollywood catalog …about $2000 worth. I've included my exact measurements, for your convenience.

Min

* * *

PACKING SLIP:

_frederick's_ OF HOLLYWOOD

**Daniel Castellano  
****90 Hudson Street  
****Apt 5F  
****New York, NY 10013**

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Order ID: 256-5052577-5826916

Order Date: April 10, 2014  
Shipping Service: Overnight - Ground

**Shipping Address:**

90 Hudson Street, Apt 5F  
New York, NY 10013

Buyer Name: Daniel Castellano

**Quantity Product Details Price Total **

1 Micro & Fishnet Strappy Teddy - Red $58.00 **Total:**$58.00

1 Lace & Mesh Suspender Teddy - Black $49.00 **Total:**$107.00

1 Banded Lace Chemise - Black $69.00 **Total:**$176.00

1 Glittered Glamour Teddy - White $62.00 **Total:**$238.00

1 Seamless Patterned Chemise - Red $59.00 **Total:**$297.00

1 Simply Sexy Underbust Corset $89.00 **Total:**$386.00

1 Playful Parisian French Maid Set $74.00 **Total:**$460.00

1 Lace Gartered Romper - Blue $64.00 **Total:**$524.00

1 Satin Shelf Bra & Harness Set $64.00 **Total:**$588.00

1 Diamond Deep-V Teddy $58.00 **Total:**$646.00

1 Fringed-N-Flirty Flapper Teddy $94.00 **Total:**$740.00

1 Rhinestone Shoulder Necklace $179.00 **Total:**$919.00

1 Tie Me Up Hollywood Naughty Nickers $52.00 **Total:**$971.00

1 Showstopper Luxury Corset $495.00 **Total:**$1,466.00

1 Rhinestone Handcuffs $69.00 **Total:**$1,535.00

1 Multistrand Rhinestone Top $84.00 **Total:**$1,619.00

**Subtotal: $1,619.00**

16 Items Sales Tax: $143.69

**Total: $1,762.69**

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thank you for your purchase at Frederick's of Hollywood!

For feedback, questions, information regarding our return  
policy, sizing charts, and other general info, please visit  
the Customer Service page on our website.

* * *

**(Letter attached to box left at Mindy's door)**

Min,

I got everything on your list and then some. Your math is a little screwy, though. It still doesn't add up to $2,000.00. But this plus four dinners, plus at least a hundred dollars on Ben & Jerry's in the last two weeks has got to get me over the two grand mark.

Have dinner with me tomorrow night. And then surprise me with anything found within this box.

Danny

P. S. Thank you for last night. You know, for the thing on my couch. I did not realize that didn't count or I would have asked for it sooner.

* * *

TO: **Daniel Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: (No subject)  
April 17, 2014 10:03 a.m.

Okay, if this whole "dating in the shadows" thing is going to be even remotely sexy, you HAVE to become a better liar. Announcing to the office that I have managed to put a woman in a coma not only makes me look incompetent (which isn't all that credible to begin with, but still), but kind of brings down the mood, no matter how unbelievable of a kisser you are.

To make things way easier, please refer to the below list of pre-approved lies going forward:

*You need assistance with a file (a classic, easily accessible)  
*You've decided to finally seek help for your feet.  
*To review the office's catalog of black-listed delis/lunch spots.  
*You've started watching Scandal and need some additional clarification (for longer make-outs. It can literally take up to two hours to go over certain show-related conspiracy theories).  
*You're having a mid-life crisis.  
*The View would like me to participate in a round table about fashion in the work place.  
*You felt like reminiscing about the rotary phone.  
*You're finally going to explain to me the difference between reptiles and amphibians.  
*You've figured out a way to get Health Department to shut down the Holistic Center or to frame the Deslauriers for money laundering.

DO NOT GO OFF BOOK. If you're suddenly struck with inspiration and feeling creative, please consult me first. Your improvisational rights are officially revoked.

Your only saving grace right now is that insanely hot thing you did with my earlobe. In some arenas you are a damn genius.

We'll talk more about this tonight when you come over…because you're definitely coming over.

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"FLAWLESS." _**Beyonce, *******Flawless**

* * *

TO: **Mindy Lahiri**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Re: **RE:** (No subject)  
April 17, 2014 11:05 a.m.

Again, I'm sorry about the coma thing. I think everyone believed me when I said it was a prank. I won't go off book, though. You are clearly very good at this.

* You told me you thought my feet weren't that bad. Are they? Were you lying to be nice?

* I've tried watching that show. You know firsthand it will take longer than two hours to try and explain it to me. It doesn't seem very believable.

* Do you think we should call the Health Department on the Deslauriers? I don't feel like that rock thing they do can be very sanitary.

You liked the thing I did with your earlobe? Now apply that same principle in other areas... Counting the minutes until tonight.

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

You looked so peaceful this morning. See:

... image downloading ...

To: My Girl  
April 20, 6:22 a.m.

I didn't want to wake you. If you wake up and see this  
before I get back, my delivery should only take a couple  
hours. Stay. I'll bring breakfast back with me.

To: My Girl  
April 20, 6:22 a.m.

**Taking stalkery pictures of me sleeping now? Who do  
****you ****think you are? Me? :-)**

**To: Dan  
****April 20, 7:17 a.m.**

**If you're getting breakfast, don't get coffee. I bought a bag  
****of that dark Italian roast you like and hid it in your pantry  
****days ago. I'll make you a special pot.**

**To: Dan  
****April 20, 7:18 a.m.**

**And no pancakes. Now that I've had your pancakes, I  
****don't really have a taste for anyone else's. Can't wait  
****for you to get back, handsome. :-)**

**To: Dan  
****April 20, 7:20 a.m.**

* * *

**I swear Jeremy calls these meetings just to hold**  
**court for a little while. Ugh.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:11 a.m.**

**So, Castellano... whaddya got going on under**  
**those slacks of yours? ;-)**

**To: Dan  
****April 22, 8:11 a.m.**

You know what I'm wearing. You threw out all my  
briefs.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:12 a.m.

**...Seriously? I really have to draw you a picture?**  
**Danny ;-) what's ;-) going ;-) on ;-) under ;-) those ;-)**  
**slacks? ;-)**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:12 a.m.**

Oh. Okay. I've got a lot going on under these slacks.  
I'd love to show you.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:13 a.m.

**A lot, you say? Sounds like fun...**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:13 a.m.**

**I'm wearing the pink high heels you like so much. Did you**  
**notice?**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:13 a.m.**

Did I notice? If Jeremy hadn't interrupted I was about  
to pull you into the hot pipe room and share my  
appreciation with you.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:14 a.m.

**And apparently you have "a lot" of appreciation to share!**  
**Color me intrigued.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:15 a.m.**

**Wanna guess the color of my panties?**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:15 a.m.**

Are they the blue ones? With the tiny pink bow? Please  
say they're the blue ones.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:16 a.m.

**Actually, it was a trick question... I'm not wearing any. ;-)**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:16 a.m.**

Are you serious?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:16 a.m.

**...Okay, not really. But that was HOT, right?!**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:17 a.m.**

I'm not sure I believe you now. But I'm going to  
pretend I do so I don't embarrass us both trying  
to find out.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:17 a.m.

Yes. That was hot.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:18 a.m.

**I guess I could always sneak into the bathroom and**  
**"accidentally" lose them... if you asked nicely.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:18 a.m.**

Would you?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:18 a.m.

I'm not asking you to. Just seeing if you're being  
serious right now.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:19 a.m.

**I mean, I *would* if I wasn't, like, about to go into surgery**  
**or into an appointment. I would NOT if the AC went down**  
**like it did last week.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:20 a.m.**

**Because I would not be nearly as appealing with a sweaty**  
**crotch.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:20 a.m.**

You're killing the mood here. Don't say sweaty crotch.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:21 a.m.

Hypothetically. Would it be possible to take them off sitting  
down?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:21 a.m.

Say, while you were in a meeting?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:21 a.m.

**Oh, you couldn't possibly be talking about *this* meeting, Daniel.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:22 a.m.**

Of course not! That would be extremely inappropriate.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:23 a.m.

For the record, could you though?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:23 a.m.

**Hmmm... Hypothetically, if I were sitting closer to the back and**  
**Morgan wasn't weirdly staring at me... then maybe. :-)**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:24 a.m.**

Care to work out this theory later?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:24 a.m.

And do I need to kick Morgan's ass?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:25 a.m.

**I'll think about it, and no, don't be crazy. I think he's trying**  
**to avoid staring at Tamra.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:25 a.m.**

**...Okay, admittedly, the imagery of you beating up a guy for**  
**me is pretty sexy, even if he is a dear friend of ours.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:25 a.m.**

You like that?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:26 a.m.

Because I can find somebody we don't like to punch. If  
you think it's sexy.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:26 a.m.

**Can we pay a visit to the Deslauriers' after lunch? That might**  
**inspire me to visit the bathroom then . :-P**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:26 a.m.**

Be careful. When you say things like that it makes me want  
to do things like drag you back to my apartment and clock  
Brendan on our way out.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:27 a.m.

**Who says we'd make it all the way to your apartment? I know of**  
**at least four secret rooms between the Holistic Center and the**  
**exit.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:28 a.m.**

Can we go now? Would anyone notice? I haven't heard a  
single thing Jeremy said after you brought up your panties.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:28 a.m.

**Danny Castellano, not paying attention during a crucial meeting**  
**regarding updated records request policies? How unprofessional**  
**of you! :-D**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:29 a.m.**

Is that what this is about? That doesn't have anything to do  
with us. I think you're right. Jeremy just wants to hear himself  
talk.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:29 a.m.

What's unprofessional is me telling you how sexy you look right  
now.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:30 a.m.

The way your cheeks are flushed and you're trying to be sly  
checking your phone.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:30 a.m.

Don't think I didn't notice you recrossing your legs.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:30 a.m.

**You noticed nothing, you pouty-lipped devil.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:31 a.m.**

**Don't think I didn't hear that tiny growl under your breath just then.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:32 a.m.**

**Or the flick of your tongue across your bottom lip.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:32 a.m.**

**You're not nearly as covert as you think.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:32 a.m.**

You're touching your neck.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:33 a.m.

Look at me.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:33 a.m.

**Oh, you fucker.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:33 a.m.**

**Don't do that.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:34 a.m.**

Are you scared?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:34 a.m.

Look at me, Mindy.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:34 a.m.

**Don't smolder.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:35 a.m.**

What? This is how my face looks.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:35 a.m.

Stop pretending to be interested in what he's talking about.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:36 a.m.

I know you're not taking notes.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:36 a.m.

**You don't know that.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:37 a.m.**

What are you writing? ML/DC with a heart around it?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:37 a.m.

**STOP IT with your face already.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:37 a.m.**

**No matter what you say, there is NO SUCH THING as**  
**"Resting Smolder Face."**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:38 a.m.**

It isn't intentional smolder.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:38 a.m.

I want you is all.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:38 a.m.

It's not so easy to hide, apparently.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:39 a.m.

**I want you, too. Clearly. God, help me.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:39 a.m.**

You can have me. However you want me.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:40 a.m.

Will you come home with me? I know you said you're  
out of clothes, but you can do laundry at my place.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:41 a.m.

Or go without.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:41 a.m.

**Again? This would be the third night in a row. Don't you need**  
**some space?**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:42 a.m.**

Is it too much? Do you need space?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:42 a.m.

**Never.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:42 a.m.**

Then come over. I want you to. It's why I'm asking.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:42 a.m.

**Okay, I will. I want to.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:43 a.m.**

I really want to kiss you right now.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:44 a.m.

**You're killing me, Danny.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:44 a.m.**

I'm sorry.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:44 a.m.

No, I'm not.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:45 a.m.

**I know you're not.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:45 a.m.**

I'm not sorry. You're killing me, too.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:45 a.m.

You're beautiful.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:45 a.m.

And so fucking sexy.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:46 a.m.

**Alright, Castellano. You think I'm killing you now? Wait**  
**until tonight.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:46 a.m.**

Okay. Now I'm a little sorry. You squeaked.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:47 a.m.

**One word: blindfold.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:47 a.m.**

Jeez, Min.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:47 a.m.

**You started it.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:48 a.m.**

**Wait, I may have started it.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:48 a.m.**

You did start it.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:48 a.m.

And I will finish it.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:49 a.m.

I wish I could finish it right now. But I can wait.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:49 a.m.

**...There's always lunch.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:50 a.m.**

I'm not that hungry anyway.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:50 a.m.

Do you really want to blindfold me?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:51 a.m.

**You'll like it, you'll see.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:51 a.m.**

I don't doubt that I will.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:51 a.m.

Will you wear those panties I bought you that can  
tie up your wrists?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:52 a.m.

**No, I have plans for those. The peek-a-boo corset, on the**  
**other hand...**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:52 a.m.**

**SHIT, DID YOU JUST MOAN?!**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:52 a.m.**

Shit. I did. Do you think anyone heard?

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:53 a.m.

**PETER HEARD YOU FOR SURE.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:53 a.m.**

Put your phone away.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:53 a.m.

And stop laughing.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:54 a.m.

**Don't tell me what to do!**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:54 a.m.**

For God's sake, Mindy. Be quiet.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:54 a.m.

You're going to get us in trouble.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:55 a.m.

***You'll* be the one in trouble tonight ;-)**

**To: Dan**  
**April 22, 8:55 a.m.**

It's totally worth it.

To: My Girl  
April 22, 8:56 a.m.

* * *

Hey. Sorry about this party.

To: My Girl  
April 25, 7:15 p.m.

But to make it up to you, I wore a tie!

To: My Girl  
April 25, 7:15 p.m.

... Image Downloading ...

To: My Girl  
April 25, 7:15 p.m.

**You are such a dork. An irresistible dork, but a dork**  
**nonetheless. You'll just have to make it up to me**  
**afterwards. You're giving me a foot massage and I'm**  
**kicking Morgan out of the apartment for the night.**

**To: Dan**  
**April 25, 7:16 p.m.**

**I want you all to myself tonight. And I intend to get what**  
**I want!**

**To: Dan**  
**April 25, 7:18 p.m.**

**For the record: I want you to myself every night.**  
**You're MY dork, you dork. :-***

**To: Dan**  
**April 20, 7:25 p.m.**


	8. Reparations

To: **Gwen Grandy**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE**: Riley's Class Photos are here!  
May 2, 2014 3:02 p.m.

I agree, Riley's class photo is super adorable. I will say, though, that I feel she and a number of her classmates are too old to still have those awkward, serial killer-like, I-don't-know-how-to-smile-for-a-photo-so-I'm-just-gonna-show-you-all-of-my-teeth-at-once smiles that everyone uses for pictures when they're, like, six. The girl in the yellow dress in the front row knows what's up and I know Riley can smile circles around her! And did Carl notice the googly eyes of the boy next to her, because I instantly did.

I'm doing...Um, I'm actually not sure how I'm doing. I mean, I'm a little better now; the picture did, in fact, cheer me up like you guessed it would, so thank you. Overall, though, I feel this constant fluctuation between complete devastation and then…nothing. And the nothing feels worse than the devastation most times. I know how to deal with break-ups and the general sadness that comes with them - I can even say with confidence that I know how to deal with broken engagements. I don't know how to deal with this.

I've been trying to pinpoint exactly what hurts about all of this the most. I guess I had this weird idea that if I could just single one major thing out, I can find a way to deal with it individually and just let the stings from all the other stuff dull on their own. The problem that I'm having is that it seems to change from day to day. Today I feel heavy with the realization that the entire month that we were together (God, Gwen, A MONTH. Anyone who didn't know any better would assume I'm mourning the loss of a decade-long relationship, but no, just one disgustingly brief month!) was entirely guided and influenced by Danny: HE got to start it, HE dictated the nature of whatever the hell we were, and then HE got to snap his fingers and make it all disappear the moment he felt like it got a little complicated. What about my input, my feelings, or what I wanted to get out of the relationship? How can someone claim that I'm such an important part of their life and yet not take any of my feelings into account, especially when it directly involved me? Because truth be told, I would have been just fine continuing to live life under the notion that Danny and I could never be. Now that I know what it's like, though…how do I just turn that off? How do I forget? And every time I see him around the office, I want to pin him to a wall and scream "What is it, Danny?! What is it about me that makes it so fucking easy to cast me aside? Why isn't this harder for you?!" I could find a way to make peace with all of this somehow, but I know there's no point because I'll only manage to find something else to be irrevocably depressed about tomorrow.

Gwen, why can't I just cry, eat pizza, and listen to show tunes like I did with Casey, who I loved very much? Why do I have to connect the simple sound of my front door shutting with the night that Danny walked out? And why the hell can't men just come to terms with their feelings instead of running away the moment things begin to get a little real…and I know it was just as real for him as it was for me. You would think a guarded man like Danny Castellano would know how to hold his cards a little closer to his chest, but he doesn't know how to kiss with anything less than his whole heart. I KNOW this thing wasn't one-sided.

I just miss him. I hate him in a way that I didn't previously think possible, but I miss him. I would say that I miss him so much that it hurts, but it seems like this new found vastness has completely taken over and makes it almost impossible for me to really feel anything. I would honestly kill to feel hurt.

You guys just had to move to Colorado, didn't you? I miss you like crazy. I plan on visiting soon. I demand the plushest bunk bed and a few uninterrupted hours with my best friend and a case of chardonnay. I promise not to be such a bummer.

Lots of love,

Mindy

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"FLAWLESS." _**Beyonce, ***Flawless**

* * *

To: **Richie Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE**: Gift Ideas  
May 29, 2014 7:43 p.m.

Rich,

I like all of the ideas you sent for Ma's birthday present. Honestly though, I think she'd rather you spend a little less on the gift so you can actually come visit and give it to her in person. I know you were just here so you may not be able to take the time off. If it's about the money I've got a bunch of sky miles you can use for your ticket. I would like to see you too.

Love you,

D

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

To: **Danny Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE: RE**: Gift Ideas  
May 29, 2014 7:48 p.m.

Okay, that's like the fourth time you've asked me to come home. What is going on, man?

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

To: **Richie Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE: RE: RE**: Gift Ideas  
May 29, 2014 7:50 p.m.

You know how I broke up with Mindy? I think I regret it.

No. I know I regret it. I just didn't want to screw up what we had. Is that so crazy? Isn't it better to have her in my life as a friend than ruin everything trying to be together?

What should I do?

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street. Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

To: **Danny Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE: RE**: Gift Ideas  
May 29, 2014 7:53 p.m.

Whoa. That's a fucked up way to look at relationships, bro. You're clearly in love with her. You're saying you'd rather pine for this woman who is super into you than take a chance to actually be with her? Yes. That's crazy.

What do you do about it? GET. HER. BACK. And don't be a schmuck.

_Sent from my iPhone_

* * *

To: **Richie Castellano**  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: **RE: RE**: Gift Ideas  
May 29, 2014 7:56 p.m.

Oh, God. I gotta get her back.

Thanks, Richie.

I love you.

D

P.S. Don't go practical. Get Ma the earrings. She'll complain about them, but she'll love them.

Dr. Daniel Castellano, OB/GYN

Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street, Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Tel. 212-530-0639  
Fax. 212-530-7607

* * *

To: **Gwen Grandy  
**CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: Update  
July 17, 2014 10:33 a.m.

Sorry, I saw your texts and meant to reply, but I got a really important call from a potentially new patient! I legally can't tell you much, but here are some hints: she's a local reality star gone big, she has her own brand of sexy-healthy cocktails, and given the details of our brief conversation there's a strong possibility that she may have crabs. What an exciting time to be alive! I'm thinking it's better to write you, anyways. There's too much to text and this time zone crap does not leave many opportunities for best friend-length conversations. Thank God for cancellations.

Things are…okay! They're more than okay, actually, but I'm so deathly afraid of getting jinxed by my own optimism. It's so weird, Gwen. It seems like everything good in my life is so delicate that something as simple as a strong declaration could cause it all to crumble at my feet, or like it's all a dream and I'll eventually find myself in an emotional heap on my bed or back at the top of the Empire State Building (I'm sorry about that text from that night, by the way. I can understand how receiving a message like "I'm gonna jump. Come to the ESB and identify my remains" might cause a stir. In my defense, I was freezing and distraught). As of right now, though – and I might really be risking something here – I can say that things are really, really great.

Things with Danny have taken a turn that I really didn't anticipate. I had eventually made peace with the possibility that our friendship would never fully recover from the break-up, despite how hard he was trying to steer us back to that place. I'll admit that it was a little gratifying to see him work so hard against my resistance towards his friendship, but I just assumed that he was eager for us to be comfortable around one another again. The thought that he might be still holding on to that indescribable _something_ between us hadn't really crossed my mind until recently, once we actually started to spend time with each other again.

I feel so lame saying this because now would be the time that I would yell at the naïve ingénue on my TV screen "No, you idiot! He's your ex for a reason! Go back to Ben Foster!"…but being around Danny feels so much different this time around. It's hard to put into words, but he's never felt more present and available to me than he does these days. He looks me in the eye so much more now and, no exaggeration intended, sometimes it can almost feel like he's trying to peer inside me and really find out everything there is to know about me. It's a strange feeling for somebody who's already so open about their personal life, to be with someone who knows almost everything and still wants to know more. He's always been a great listener, but now he listens as if his life depends on it. Aside from the occasional friendly teasing remark, he has this intensity about him these days that reminds me of how I must of looked when I was studying in med school, like he's preparing himself for something major. It's still so unbelievable that he's devoting this type of energy to me when we're not even together.

Looking back at our relationship, what we had was so wrapped in this secrecy and this different type of need – something a little more meaningful than lust, but not by much – that all I can remember about it was how we would get ourselves alone and attack each other with this energy that felt like we were both trying to rid our bodies of something. It was hot and wonderful, but it also felt like a distraction from all the things we needed to face in order for us to really make a go of something. We cared about each other, obviously, but there was so much focus placed on keeping us a secret long enough to figure things out that we actually forgot the part where we were **supposed to figure things out**. Now it feels like we're making up for the opportunity we squandered. I can't tell you how great it felt to walk leisurely in the park with Danny Castellano, IN PUBLIC, as he gazed into my eyes and listened to me babble on about my brother or Molly Ringwald's impact on my life. There's a new undercurrent of something with the reboot of this friendship and I'm so scared to really acknowledge my hopes regarding it all, lest I set myself up for major disappointment, but there's a little niggling part of me that feels like I'm not the only one hoping here.

This feels so much more real this time around. It doesn't quite feel like starting over; it feels like getting back to where we were always supposed to be, long before we realized it. Now I don't find it so weird to daydream about us fighting over a caterer or dancing slowly in a heavy white dress or a troupe of loud, well-dressed kids. I can already hear your groan as you read that but trust me, my gut says that all of this _something_ is moving us in a direction that we'll be traveling for the rest of our lives. And it feels so nice to not feel like I have to force us in that direction and just have things happen, for once. Lately it just seems like we get it. And to think, I have Andy to really thank for all of this coming into light. If I ever run into him again I'm going to thank him just after I punch him in the throat. The overall tone of the confrontation will be pretty confusing, but both points should be made clear. Just because his inconsideration led me back to the love of my life, that doesn't mean he gets off squeaky clean. I'll just leave my heavier rings at home as a sign of mercy.

Phone date on Sunday, bitch?! 2 p.m. your time. You still have yet to tell me the story of how Carl got into a fist fight in Whole Foods. Please tell me it was over the price of cashews, because then I'd totally get it.

Love you,

Mindy

Mindy Lahiri, M.D., OB/GYN  
Shulman & Associates  
119 Spring Street; Suite 301  
New York, New York 10014  
Telephone: 212.530.0639  
Facsimile: 212.530.7607  
Mobile: 212.966.7600

_"FLAWLESS." _**Beyonce, ***Flawless**

* * *

**(A letter given to Mindy, ****September 23, 2014****)**

Mindy, My Love,

I did this all wrong. And yet here we are. The last few months have been the best of my life. Being friends again, falling even more in love with this city and with you? It's been a gift. I know I'm lucky. We agreed to start fresh when we got back together which I'm grateful for, but before we do I feel like I owe you more than what I've given you. You deserve to know what I was feeling and why I started things with you only to end it so abruptly.

I love you. And I've loved you for a really long time. A lot longer than I ever realized until I was with you and then threw it all away. It was such an idiot thing to do, but when I said you were my best friend and I didn't want to ruin it I meant it. I was terrified of losing you, so I pushed you away. Not great logic, I know.

At some point you became essential to me. Every morning I would wake up and before I ever got to the office I'd start thinking about you. About the way your face would light up when drug reps would bring in treats or what kind of crazy bright outfit you'd be wearing or how, without fail, you would smile when you saw me.

It made me happy just being with you and somehow you became the first person - the only person - I went to when I needed help or advise or just a friend. A best friend. I realized that fully while you were in Haiti. God, I missed you. I know what it's like to be without you, and I never want that again.

So, you know I almost kissed you that night in the doctor's lounge. We still have never talked about it, but I know you know. Anyway, that wasn't the first time I wanted to kiss you. The afternoon in the women's prison (you know, right after you started a RIOT) I was patching your face. Your hair was all destroyed and you'd been crying and you were a complete mess. And something I said, I don't even remember what, made you laugh. I wanted to kiss you so badly then. It shocked the hell out of me. And once I started wanting you I never stopped.

You asked me that horrible night of the party, the night when I made the most regretted decision of my life, why I started this, why I kissed you. Maybe it was because I had wanted you for so long and saw what could be my last chance slipping away. Or maybe it was because I spent forty-five minutes pouring my heart out to you in that letter to Cliff. Some of what I said was about you and him. Some of it was stuff I wished I'd been honest enough to say during difficult breakups of my own. But most of it was how I feel about you. I'm better with you in my life, Mindy. I am my best when I'm with you. And you make me happy in a way I never have been before.

Seeing your face when you hit send on that email, smiling and so full of hope, made me happy too. Then I thought about what it meant. I imagined you getting back together with Cliff and you two getting married and having children together. And that was just as terrifying a thought as that plane crashing. I was an idiot to have spent an entire year wanting to kiss you and not doing it. So there's your answer. Why did I kiss you? Because I couldn't not anymore.

I hate that there was even a second you thought I didn't want you or was embarrassed about our relationship. I know you know this now, but it was never because I didn't take us seriously. It's because it was without a doubt the most important thing in my life - my entire future and happiness hanging in the balance - and I didn't want to screw it up.

Of course I did anyway! I should have trusted you. I've always trusted you before and I don't know why I thought this would be any different. You love fiercely, and I should have recognized you love me just the same.

The way I tried to win you back was not right. I see that now. It was dishonest and manipulative. I know I don't have to try and defend it because it's in the past and you've forgiven me, but I have to say I never meant it to hurt you. I wanted to be romantic like in one of your movies. In the future I will adhere to the list of romantic gestures you gave me. I agree it's about time I give you another dance. Maybe this time I can have you join me.

My whole heart,

Danny


	9. Repondez S'il Vous Plait

_**Daniel and Mindy kindly request the favor of your reply by August 28, 2015.**_

**M_ **

**_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _ # OF GUESTS)**

**_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

* * *

**M**iss Amy DeGraff**_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

Danny and Mindy,

Thank you so much for the lovely invitation! We may have met under very strange circumstances (Chloe Silverado is still a pretty incredible alias!), but the love I saw in Danny's eyes that night stuck with me for a very long time...and may have been the source for some of my more unrealistic expectations in men, but whatever! WEDDING! YAY!

Seeing you two fall more and more in love over the years has been inspiring. I can't wait to share your day with you. And I'm hoping that bringing Barry along will inspire him to get on the ball get a ring on this finger. Any encouragement you two can provide would be appreciated.

Congrats and thanks again,

Amy

* * *

**M**r. Tom McDougall _

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

Margo and I would be honored to attend. (If you could please make as little reference to our past relationship or my first marriage as possible that would be great. In return, I'll refrain for making a toast.)

* * *

**M**r. Jason Richmond**_**

**_****X****_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

Hey, Mindy...

I got your e-mail. The Independent doesn't really write about things like local weddings...even if you insist that yours and Danny's will be "glam as shit." For what it's worth, I don't doubt that it will be! I'm guessing that's the reason you extended an invite. If you truly want me to go, let me know.

It's good to see that Danny has excellent taste in both sushi and women.

All the best,

Jason

* * *

**M**r. Samuel Kleinfeld**_**

**_****X****_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

Man, Mindy, seeing all of your wedding posts on Facebook is a little trippy! After all these years and even after hanging out with you not even two years ago, I still see the young girl I met at camp… not in the pervert sense. I feel the need to stress that. It's just an observation on how crazy time is.

It's really cool to see you so happy. I'm stationed in Germany, as you know, and getting leave is pretty tough, so I don't see me being able to make it. I am, however, going to note your not-so-subtle encouragement for all invited guests to send a gift, "regardless of attendance." You're still a ballsy one, Lahiri. I couldn't be prouder.

The few minutes I spent around Danny he just seemed intensely patriotic (not a bad thing!), but in most of the pictures I see you post of you two now, he's smiling like he just won the lottery. In a way, he did.

Best wishes and hope to see you soon,

Sam

* * *

**M**s. Alex Freitag **_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

My "best friend" and my ex are getting married and you really think it's a good idea to invite me to the wedding?! How dare you?!

Just kidding. Of course I'll be there. Wouldn't miss it for the world. It's not every day you see the two most unlikely people commit to love and cherish each other forever. Well, and them actually mean it. You guys are so happy together . . . . and honestly it's super weird. It's also pretty great, so congratulations.

(I'm attempting to make it work long enough with the should-be-exotic-yet-surprisingly-boring Marcelo until the wedding. If I snap during another monologue about the evils of non-domestic fruit and break up with him (or kill him) and have to come stag, I fully expect to eat and drink his portion. The plus-one stands regardless.)

* * *

**M_** Clifford Gilbert, Esq.**_**

**_X_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

The both of you have to know how wildly inappropriate it is to invite me to this, right? I find it very hard to believe that the audacity of this escaped not one, but TWO supposedly well-educated, successful doctors.

No. No, I will not be attending your fucking wedding.

* * *

**M**r. & Mrs. Jamie Dawes **_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****3?****_ # OF GUESTS)**

Mindy and Danny,

Lucy and I are thrilled to come to your wedding. Our only wish is that we could say we had as much to do with your happiness as you two had with ours! How serendipitous would that be?!

Is this a child-friendly event? Gretchen enjoys weddings and we're in between child care providers at the moment. Also, the insert mentioned a sushi bar and Lucy was wondering if there will be cooked rolls available? We're expecting a boy! Goodness, we owe you so much!

See you soon,

Jamie and Lucy

* * *

**M**r. Charlie Lang**_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

Mindy - I'm happy to see that you guys worked things out. I'm also glad to see a taser on your gift registry.

Danny - I ran a background check on you and only found one infraction, but looking at the details of the incident - I get it. Anybody wearing a Mellencamp shirt at a Springsteen show is looking for a fist to the face. Still, I'm keeping an eye on you, friend. And congratulations.

Officer Handsome and Mad

* * *

**M_** Casey_Peerson**_**

**_****X_****_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

WHADDUP, GURL!

I hope you and Danny both accept my heartfelt congratulations. The date clashes with an entrepreneurial conference I have in Japan, so I won't be able to make it. I'm sending you both a pair of kicks from our newest line, though! They're pretty hot. I probably don't need to tell you this, Mindy, but yours will be colorful with low functionality, just how you like 'em. Danny, you're getting a pair of our top-of-the-line stabilizing running shoes, recently endorsed by 2 Chainz himself. I hope you dig it.

I'm stoked for you both. Again, congratulations.

Casey

**Casey Peerson  
**CC:  
BCC:  
RE: My other wedding gift...  
June 4, 2015 1:41 a.m.

Mindy,

I wanted to tell you something important, but I didn't think it would be appropriate to include on the RSVP. I'm still sending you both those shoes, but I wanted to give you a gift that was specifically for you.

Do you remember one of the first nights I ever spent at your apartment? We were lying in your bed and we had just finished watching one of your movies. I want to say it was My Best Friend's Wedding, but all I remember was Julia Roberts being ridiculous, so it could have literally been any movie she's ever been in. I digress. We talked for a while about some of our past relationships and early adolescent heartbreaks. I remember how adorable you looked, your eyes all wide while you talked about these old boyfriends as if you were talking about characters in a movie about your life. I was grateful to not have quite as many tales of love lost, but I envied your ability to captivate with any story. I thought I had skills at the pulpit, but I remember thinking I could learn a thing or two from you.

Anyway, you mentioned something that night that remained with me for a while: "I just really want for someone to think of me as 'the one that got away." At first it seemed kind of selfish to want a man to love you in the present while also wanting a man from your past to pine for you from afar with no hope of any sort of payoff, but I get it now. You just want your worth to be recognized, especially from someone who may not have understood before.

Mindy, I want you to know that you are, and will always be, my "one that got away." I wish I had fought for us a little more. I wish I had found all this focus that I have now while we were together. I really wish I had treated you a little better when I saw you in LA. Then maybe I would have earned a second chance and it would be you and me sending out wedding invitations (for real this time, though).

Going into business for myself has taught me that sometimes I have to be ruthless for the things I want and trust me, if you were marrying any other guy I can't say that I would be above coming back to New York and scheming a way to win you back. Danny, however, seems like a dude that would kill a man with his bare hands in order to protect you, and that's what you deserve. I know when I'm beat. Plus, you look happier with him than you ever did with me, if your Twitter is even half accurate.

So, that's all I wanted to tell you. I don't mean any disrespect to you or your soon-to-be husband. Still, if you have a desire to cuss me out or send Danny to punch me in the face, I wouldn't blame you. I just figured you'd want to know that your worth is definitely recognized by the people whose lives you've affected. Despite my own kind of emo self-pity, I really am happy for you and Danny and I do hope that we can be good friends. If you guys are ever back in the West Coast, please look me up. Let me know how you like the sneakers!

Sincerely,

Casey

* * *

**M**r. & Mrs. Alan Castellano** _**

_X_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET

Daniel and Mindy,

I so regret that your father and I will be unable to attend your wedding. I have truly been looking forward to meeting you both. Dani can't stop talking about how excited she is to come there and to have been asked to do a reading. She's been practicing that verse for weeks! After the honeymoon and work permitting, you must come back to California for a visit.

Happiest regards,

Tara

* * *

**M**r. Josh Daniels **_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

I knew it! Took you long enough to see it after I pointed it out. You can be so dense. Seriously though, who knows you, babe? We really were a great couple. Corrine and I are back together again. Again. I think that third go in rehab did a lot for her. I do appreciate your forgiveness and us being able to be friends. You deserve to be happy. I wish you the wedding your buddy and my estranged wife ruined. To the point that I'll even try and keep Corrine away from Danny. There's something about weddings that just makes everyone horny, am I right?

* * *

**M**r. Duncan Deslaurier _

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****1****_ # OF GUESTS)**

It is with joy in my heart I accept the invitation to attend your harmonious union. Would it be okay for me to recite a poem during the ceremony?

* * *

**M**r. Brendan Deslaurier **_**

**_****X****_ ACCEPTS WITH GREAT PLEASURE ( _****2****_ # OF GUESTS)**

I'm pleased you are both able to finally rise above any petty jealousies to the point of including me as a guest at your wedding. As you know, until marriage equally is truly embraced in this country it has been my solemn vow to abstain from attending any government sanctioned commitment rituals. If then, as they are historically a sexiest form of servitude and now perpetuate unrealistic and unattainable goals of "happiness" and monogamy. However, I will make an exception for the two of you. More than once I've tried picturing what the ceremony will look like, not to mention the resulting marriage, and I cannot. The mind reels!

* * *

**M**s. Christina Porter _

**_****X****_ DECLINES WITH SINCERE REGRET**

Congratulations. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.

Danny,

Thank you for including me in the wedding invitations. I don't believe that you actually want me there, and I'm positive Mindy doesn't, but it was a nice gesture. It makes things more final too, doesn't it? It makes a clear statement about your current relationship. Either that you're so over me that it wouldn't be weird for me to attend. Or that you're still harboring enough unresolved anger that you want to throw your happiness in my face in the hopes of hurting me. I hope for your sake it's the former. Either way, message received.

Are you happy? I never hear anything from you, not that I expect to. I guess even without having been remarried our relationship always ends in attorneys, huh?

I do hope that you are happy. You never were with me. Maybe at first, but never for long. I always thought it was because you just weren't that kind of person. That you put on a good show of being happy and normal, but that the uptight man with the ever-present dark cloud was just who you were deep down. For the most part that never bothered me. I pictured an artist's soul in you. That was at least something I could relate to.

Honestly, not that you asked, I don't see how it works between you two. Mindy's too much like you. Not in any obvious ways of course, but from what I know of her, Mindy is obstinate, wildly opinionated, and fiercely loyal. I have never been berated more thoroughly than I was by her in that letter she sent me. Those are the character traits that are so like you. It's a wonder to me how you're not at loggerheads all the time.

Since I'm being honest here, despite not being able to fathom how your relationship works, I always suspected there was something there. It was a relief when she left the country and no surprise you threw our relationship away the minute she got back. I don't think you realize how much you would talk about her while she was gone.

Pass a message on to my successor if you don't mind: 1) Those rumors were unfounded; I have no strand, yet-to-be-classified or otherwise, of Chlamydia. 2) I did; and _you_ better earn him too. 3) This is me officially fucking off for good.

She'll know what that means. Also, while I am not attending, I did get you a wedding gift. It's the 800 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets from your registry. You don't have to use them, but hopefully at least that will be considered a debt paid.

Danny. I don't know what else to say. I did love you. I hope this woman and this marriage will finally make you happy.

Best regards,

Christina

* * *

Min. I just got a passive-aggressive letter from  
my ex-wife in with her RSVP. When and why did  
you send her a letter?

To: Min  
June 30, 2015 3:33 p.m.

**What is that walking insane asylum even  
****talking about?! I never sent her a letter.**

**To: Dan  
****June 30, 2015 3:37 p.m.**

**HOLY SHIT I TOTALLY WROTE HER A LETTER.**

**To: Dan  
June 30, 2015 3:39 p.m.**

**Babe, don't get upset. I wrote it years ago and it was after the  
****whole art gallery drama. I only did it because she was so awful  
****to you and seeing you look so betrayed... I couldn't just NOT  
****say anything, you get that, right? And she's lucky she only got  
****a letter! I love you. Are you mad? :-(**

**To: Dan  
****June 30, 2015 3:41 p.m.**

Even before we were together you cared enough to write an  
angry letter to my ex for publicly humiliating me? Of course  
I'm not mad.

To: Min  
June 30, 2015 3:44 p.m.

It's kinda hot, actually. You being that willing to go to the  
mattresses for me. Admit it, you were into me even then.

To: Min  
June 30, 2015 3:45

**Oh God. Well, I could try to deny it, but would it really matter?  
****You probably already have it in your head that I was desperately  
****in love with you back then...and maybe I was. So what? Wanna  
****do something about it, Dr. Castellano?**

**To: Dan  
****June 30, 2015 3:47 p.m.**

**And speaking of mattresses...I have a little time between surgeries.  
****Maybe you can stop by the hospital before heading home? We can  
****test your sound proofing theory in the on-call room. :-)**

**To: Dan  
****June 30, 2015 3:49 p.m.**

I'll be there no later than 6:00. I'm pretty sure it's sound proof, but  
be prepared for a walk of shame. I have no intentions of you being  
quiet.

To: Min  
June 30, 2015 3:51 p.m.

Oh, and don't change back into your street clothes. I want you in your  
scrubs. And your glasses. Leave your glasses on too.

To: Min  
June 30, 2015 3:51 p.m.


	10. Mutually Binding

You're still sure you want us to write our own vows? It's  
fine with me. Just want to make sure it's what you want.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:12 p.m.

**Yeah, babe, I'm sure. It took us a lot to get to this  
****point, we kind of owe it to ourselves to come up with  
****something from the heart. Don't you think so?**

**To: Dan  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:12 p.m.**

**I mean, yeah, I'm struggling with it a little, admittedly,  
****but it'll get there.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:13 p.m.**

Yeah. Totally. But how "from the heart" are we talking  
here? I don't want all those people we invited, a lot we  
don't even like, knowing our business.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:15 p.m.

And I knew it wasn't as easy for you as you've been insisting!

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:15 p.m.

**I'm not asking for social security numbers here, but  
****something sweet and meaningful. And I wish you wouldn't  
****celebrate my struggle! I had this idea of my vows being  
****almost entirely comprised of movie quotes, but it's not  
****flowing as much as I thought it would. Plus, some of it doesn't  
****fit our situation...because you, sir, did NOT have me at "hello."**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:16 p.m.**

Sorry, babe. Not celebrating... more like commiserating. Please no  
movie quotes. If I can't quote Springsteen you can't use the whole  
girl standing in front of a boy bull crap.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:17 p.m.

Besides, we're too old for that line anyway. And so were they.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:17 p.m.

And you *know* I had you at least a little at hello. Even if you just  
wanted me physically. ;)

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:18 p.m.

**You're right about the movie quotes, not so much about the  
****first impression. So here's my vow to you, right now: Danny  
****Castellano, I promise to only whip out the movie quotes sparingly  
****and in emergencies, like when I insist on picking the movie for our  
****nights in.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:24 p.m.**

That's a really good vow, actually. I wouldn't mind that being in  
the main event.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:24 p.m.

As long as we're making vows that don't go into the final cut, I  
vow to make as little fun as possible of the movies you choose on  
movie night.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:25 p.m.

And I vow to never make you listen to Springsteen unless it's really  
important or a patriotic holiday.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:25 p.m.

**I appreciate that! In return, I vow to ask all of my girlfriends  
****to accompany me to all Katy Perry and Beyonce concerts  
****first before dragging you to them against your will.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:26 p.m.**

Really? Thanks. If someone wears or says something offensive about  
your favorite performer and there's an altercation, I promise to come  
bail you and any of your friends out of concert jail.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:26 p.m.

**Oh, Danny. You have no clue what you just committed to, especially  
****if Maggie comes along. How she's managed to avoid getting banned  
****from Rockefeller Center is beyond me.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:30 p.m.**

**Let's see... I vow to learn at least one of your mother's recipes to  
****perfection. I can't promise I'll know how to cook anything else, but I  
****will kick some chicken piccata ass by the time my arthritis kicks in!**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:30 p.m.**

Sweetheart, you are not a great cook - with the exception of your  
surprisingly excellent French toast - but I have faith you can master  
piccata WAY before you become arthritic.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:31 p.m.

Especially if you'd just let Ma give you some pointers.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:31 p.m.

I promise to give each failed attempt the benefit of the doubt  
every time until you have it mastered. And I promise to do the  
equivalent for you. I'm an amazing cook, so what would that be?  
There a recipe you want me to learn or something?

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:32 p.m.

**Oh God, can you learn how to make those blueberry lemon  
****cupcakes, like the ones from Magnolia Bakery?**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:32 p.m.**

Easy! And cupcakes? Are you kidding me? I figured you'd go for  
something bigger. "Or something" left a lot of room there.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:33 p.m.

Unless you're saying I've already mastered giving you the perfect  
orgasm or learned how to be the world's best listener. You know  
what, you're right. Cupcakes are the last thing I have to learn.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:33 p.m.

**The question was misleading, dammit! You were specifically  
****talking about cooking!**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:42 p.m.**

**I want a marriage with it all! Flawless orgasms and cupcakes! **

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:43 p.m.**

As you wish.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:43 p.m.

I promise to give you everything you want that is within my power.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:43 p.m.

I vow to learn how to be the best possible husband until I have it  
mastered. Even if it takes the rest of our lives.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:44 p.m.

**It won't take nearly that long, babe. You're already the best. It  
****just won't be official for another month.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:44 p.m.**

**I vow to be that annoying woman who brags about her wonderful,  
****thoughtful, perfect husband every chance she gets to anyone with a  
****half-working ear.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:44 p.m.**

You do that now! And I love it. Honestly. I'm having to get used to  
it, Min. I think you're the first person I've ever been with who says  
those things.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:45 p.m.

I wish I could see you. Or at least talk to you. Stupid fittings.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:45 p.m.

I'll do all that too, if I don't do it enough already. It doesn't take  
me pointing it out, but everyone should know how spectacular you  
are.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:46 p.m.

And how lucky I am to have you.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:46 p.m.

**I vow to learn a new way to show you how much I love you every  
****day until I've said all there is to be said and done all that can be done.  
****Until we're the example that other's strive for.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:46 p.m.**

**And I vow to always let you know just how perfect you are, but never  
****expect perfection from you. We'll make a ton of mistakes together, but  
****we'll also learn together. That's the deal.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:48 p.m.**

You've never expected more from me than the bare minimum of  
what you deserve. I'll raise the bar on that. It's part of our deal now,  
officially.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:48 p.m.

And you show me all the time new ways you love me.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:48 p.m.

Remember, you showed me a new way on the couch in the lounge  
on Tuesday.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 1:49 p.m.

**I vow that there's more where that came from! ;)**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 1:49 p.m.**

Seriously, when the hell are these dress fittings over? I miss you.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:11 p.m.

And can I hold you to that vow? Is there a way to officially slip it in  
without it being inappropriate?

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:11 p.m.

**Danny, you cannot say things like "slip it in" to me right now  
****after mentioning the lounge. I'm clamping my thighs together so  
****tightly that I think they're beginning to weld together.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 2:15 p.m.**

**I promise you this, though: I vow to try just about everything  
****in the bedroom at least once with you. Ev. Er. Y. Thing.**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 2:15 p.m.**

I'm making a list.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:15 p.m.

If we've already kinda halfway tried it but you weren't sure does  
that count? Or is this a "everything goes back to zero on our wedding  
night" type situation?

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:16 p.m.

**I think it's fair to consider the slate clean once we get to the  
****honeymoon suite. Marriage is all about new beginnings, right?**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 2:18 p.m.**

You're right and so smart. Clean slate. Still working on that list.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:18 p.m.

And I love you. Not just in the "doctors lounge" kind of way.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:18 p.m.

But as SOON as you get home, I'm loving you that kind of way too.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:19 p.m.

**Promise?**

**To: Dan****  
****August 22nd, 2015 2:21 p.m.**

It's my solemn vow.

To: Min  
August 22nd, 2015 2:21 p.m.

* * *

**(Mindy's wedding vows. Hand written on linen-finished paper, folded and pinned to the ribbon around her bouquet.) **

My love, my hothead, my best friend, my Danny.

For years I have reaped the benefits of everything that makes you the incredible person you are. Your honesty has made me change for the better. Your loyalty and friendship makes me feel stronger than I've ever felt. Your smile and your embrace make me feel like I'm the only person who matters. Most importantly, your love makes me feel unstoppable.

There were times when I wished for an appropriate way to thank you, especially when cakes and orchids didn't feel like nearly enough. How can you express gratitude to the man that showed you that real life, real love, can be so much better than the movies? How do you thank the man you feel has made your life so, so complete?

Choosing me to be your wife gives me the opportunity to thank you every day, for the rest of our lives. I will thank you with my undying faithfulness, respect, and loyalty. I will thank you with my honesty. I will thank you with my strength whenever you feel weak and my optimism when things seem bleak. I will thank you with a listening ear whenever you need a confidante, my comedy when you need a laugh, and understanding silence, when all you need is me. Daniel Castellano, I am so honored for the chance to spend the rest of my life thanking you with everything that I have, because I owe you as much. I love you.

**(Danny's wedding vows. Typed and printed on plain copier paper, folded and refolded and stashed away in his tuxedo pants pocket.)**

Mindy, you know how hard it was for me to write these vows. And not just for the reasons you and everyone else here are probably thinking. It's not because I didn't know how to tell you how I feel, how I love you so much sometimes it still takes my breath away, or what the right promises were to make you. It's because there are too many. Where do I even start?

We've already been partners for a really long time. First professionally, which anyone who knows us will agree didn't look like a very promising start. Then as friends. It was as your friend I learned how to do this. Us. How to be a teammate and not just put one person first. So I promise to always be your partner. To be what and who you need in every way I can. Just like you always are for me.

I promise to never, ever leave you. So you better be sure about this, okay? Because you're stuck with me for life now.

I promise the sickness and health thing. Not just for when we're old and failing, but for times like when you eat from that taco truck I keep telling you not to and it finally makes you sick. I promise on those occasions to hold your hair back and get you ginger ale with a bendy-straw like you like, and try really, really hard not to say I told you so.

I vow to never make you feel unloved or unwanted, because there is no one in this world I have ever cherished as much as I do you. And that will never change.

I had a hard time writing these vows because once I started I didn't know how I could ever be done promising you everything I have to give. So that's it. I vow to never stop making and keeping new promises to you, and honoring the ones I've already made. For as long as we both shall live.

* * *

**(On a card included inside Mindy's wedding present.)**

To my wife -

This may be a corny gift, but I meant what I said in my vows. I will never stop making new promises to you, and striving to keep all the promises I've already made. So this is for us.

I tried to find something sturdy that will last us our lifetime together. I'm sorry that the leather binding doesn't look very romantic. I took the liberty to include all the promises we've already made to each other. Including the dirty ones. And I've added some new ones, too.

This journal still has a few hundred blank pages left in it. By the time we make it to our 25th wedding anniversary I want to have given you another one for us to fill up.

Thank you, my love, my life, my wife, on this day, and every day, for making me the happiest man on earth.


End file.
